Reheating My Tea

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 172019
 

Although I’m not a sharer of quotes nor do I like to speak in quotes as I’ve written before, I do have some favorite ones to give me perspective on life.

One of my favorites is by Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations.

Is your cucumber bitter? Throw it away.

My modern interpretation of this is something like:

When your tea goes lukewarm, you can lament that it is cold and let it grow bitter as it turns colder. Or, you can reheat some water and warm it back up so that you can continue enjoying the warmth and flavor of the tea in your cup.

Metaphor not working for you?

I’m talking about taking control of your life – whether big or small: we can be a victim of circumstances or we can be the creator of experiences.

Recently, I felt myself growing rather bitter and frustrated at work. One of my colleagues challenges me in various ways. Although this person seems to be a “good person” – whatever that means -, I find it difficult to cope with the low vibrations that this person puts out on a daily basis. In addition, my work is affected by the decisions this person makes, usually by increasing an already full load while the offender skates through by holding on to the bumper of my steam engine. However, like any steam engine, a constant motion cannot be maintained without more fuel or rest. If too much steam builds up, then an explosion can occur. (Sorry more metaphors!)

In any case, after a few days of ranting to whomever would listen and a few chapters in listening to my new audiobook Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide (more about this one later), I realized that I was playing a victim as well, which I was complaining about in my colleague.

Therefore, I broke down what was within my power to change and did it. In other words, I warmed up more water to reheat my tea!

Just as I tend to drink tea quickly, I don’t know how long the feeling of satisfaction in my proactivity will last. However, I am content that while I may not have thrown the entire cucumber out, I salvaged the parts of it that is still good by cutting away where it was growing bitter. 😛

~T 😀

Developing Routines

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Jun 142019
 

So, it’s been a few days since my last post. It was intentional to be honest.

When someone posts all the time or when something becomes too available, the tendency is for complacency and over saturation to occur. Therefore, as I consider how to build readership, but also make sure I have enough content, I decided to give it a few days.

It also helped that I have been a bit busy with work and trying not to lose my mind as I PMS (TMI? Sorry, not sorry 😛 ).

In any case, my habits and schedules are always developing as I attempt to find balance in having a healthy mind, body and soul while also considering the realities of life outside of myself. 😉

Therefore, I have decided to post two to three times a week depending on my schedule. That way, regular followers (now that I know you are out there!) can know when I will write, but not get overwhelmed (hopefully), by trying to keep up since it seems to be a natural part of our psyches to feel as if we have to always stay on top of something.

In the meantime, I am hoping to actually make some progress at getting my story-writing going and posting chapters on The Universal Asian site. It needs a bit of attention, so I’m not giving you the link just yet. When it is ready, you’ll be among the first to know!

With that said, I’ll end here for today. More to come!

~T 😀

Skillz

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 092019
 

My current position in my job allows me to stay out of the classroom for the most part. I still teach a few regular private lessons for our clients, but most of the time I pass on classroom teaching gigs.

One of the reasons is that teaching to our clients can require us/me to travel all over the city. Riding the trains more than necessary is not on the top of my list of things to do. The requirement of being amidst people – especially those whom I don’t know – for an hour or more makes me even more tired than the act of teaching itself.

So, it has been a while since I have taught a full class.

When you don’t regularly practice a skill like using a language, or like teaching, it can be worrisome when forced to use it again. This weekend is an example of this for me.

However, I have happily found that it is somewhat like riding a bike and my years of training along with the natural instincts that drew me to the profession in the first place have kicked back into gear.

Still, like most things in my life, I have to admit that I don’t necessarily like to do the things that come easy to me. It’s true; I generally prefer challenges. So, while it is a relief to find that I’ve still got my teaching skillz, it doesn’t mean that I like it any more than before.

Therefore, I mostly have a renewed appreciation for my work out of the classroom than in it thanks to this weekend of teaching. 😛

~T 😀

Graduations

 Going Mental  2 Responses »
Jun 082019
 

‘Tis the season of celebrations 🎉.

Back in my day (yep, old people saying…), graduations were for major achievements like finishing high school or the amazing feat of university. These were not necessarily benchmarks that everyone would achieve; thus, warranting a celebration.

Nowadays, I see posts for graduations from kindergarten and every minor achievement reached. It’s almost blasé when someone shares they’ve passed their doctoral exams – as if it’s just another everyday event.

When did we decide that a five-year-old should be given even more attention and recognition for doing something that is an expected part of growing up? When did we become immune to the six to ten-year accomplishment of contributing something new to a field and bettering society?

I recently re-listened to a talk by Simon Sineck on millennials in the workplace. Even though not all of it was necessarily true in my mind, he did hit on the point that we have over-celebrated (are over-celebrating) mediocrity and what is a basic expectation of living in this world (not in the same words); thus causing a numbness to the celebration of real achievements.

Of course, some readers might retort that I don’t have children so who am I to criticize? Other readers might think I’m just old-fashioned. That’s fine, but it does not take away from the truth:

I think, we should stop watering down what is really worth celebrating and consider how to make those moments truly special rather than encouraging the repeated superficiality as what seems to be the trend now.

~T 😀

Maintaining the habit…

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 072019
 

Work has been busy this week, and so the evenings, when I usually write something here from my phone, have been more about relaxing or doing things other than writing.

However, I do not want to get out of the habit of posting, so today I shall ramble a bit rather than write with focus.

Sometimes, it is good to just share random thoughts – I mean not everything has to be profound, meaningful or purposeful, does it?

Anyway, the weather is grey. Apparently, rainy season is officially starting, which means days of rain and grey – it’s like being home. I usually last about two days in ‘enjoying’ it and then the complaining shall commence. 😛

I am actually trying to appreciate it as, so far, the temperatures have stayed down and I am not yet ready for the constant drippage that comes with the incoming heat and humidity. Silver lining?

“Teenage” ducklings

These days, I’m just enjoying the ‘every-day-ness’ of the changing seasons, which includes watching the ducklings grow.

~T 😀

Using my own words…

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 042019
 

I am a cynic.

It’s true.

You might be surprised by that if you don’t know me very well. If you do, then you’re probably sarcastically saying ‘no way?!’. 😛 (I hope so, anyway!)

While I was always in awe of former teachers and professors who could quote Shakespeare or the poetic words of the greats, I never truly understood why it was a valued talent. Other than for those who go on to performance-based activities, what useful purpose does this serve?

Furthermore, why do we celebrate the skill of memorizing someone else’s work? Is that really the only way that we can prove or express that we are “learn-ed”? How flattered can the dead be when you quote their work? If you’re still alive, is it truly the highest form of flattery you aspire to receive – to be quoted by others?

These days, it’s almost impossible to scroll through a social media site without reading a posted quote from someone other than the person posting.

Beyond that, we find music, movies, and other aspects of pop culture simply repeating classics or successful predecessors of the genres.

Perhaps, it has always been this way. Or, perhaps, it was the way before we could access information at our fingertips to recall the words of the wise. However, with the changing times, I’m still an old-school cynic. What’s the point of repeating or quoting what others have said without some sort of addition or revision of it?

Now, I’m a fan of the reduce, reuse, recycle mentality. I love it when I see creative ways of re-purposing something whether through mash-ups of songs, turning plastic bottles into shoes, or a new version of Anne of Green Gables. I can get behind this type of ‘change’.

I suppose in academia, receiving a number of references for your work is considered status-worthy, but even then, the best academic papers take referenced work and make them into something new or use it as a foundation to rationalize the contribution to the chosen field.

In any case, my brain is already stretched thin within the capacity that I am able to use it. Therefore, I really don’t feel or see the need to repeat the words of other people.

Additionally, I find it extremely lazy to simply paste a quote into a screen and pretend that I have said it without any expounding of my own opinion or perspective to explain why I am sharing someone else’s expression.

When I scroll through my social media and just see quotes instead of pictures and comments of what is going on in my contacts’ lives, then I swipe up passing posts without any connection or interest. This seems such a waste of my time and others’ for bothering to post it.

So, this is my social observation lately (related to an upcoming post topic), and is not meant to offend anyone. I mean, it’s your social media site and it’s your privilege to put whatever you want on it; just as it is mine to ignore it and ponder at the true purpose of the action. 😉

For me, I want to use my own words as much as possible to express myself in my way. Call me radical, or better yet, just call me cynical. 😀 (But, is it really?!)

And, for those readers who would like to disagree with me, feel free to justify or explain yourself! I love a healthy dialog!!

~T 😀

How long would you search for me?

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 032019
 

My obsession with true crime podcasts and (audio)books can sometimes necessitate a bit of a step back to process the dark issues that can come up from listening to these kinds of stories.

Inevitably, one part of these stories is the search for the victims.

In some cases, they are rarely or never really missed due to dysfunctional families and relationships. In other cases, days can go by before anyone begins to worry because the person is independent or known to go off the grid at times. Then, there are those who cause instant worry if they aren’t heard from for even an hour.

I imagine that I’m some version of the latter two cases. However, I have recently contemplated just how long would it take for someone to miss me?

Out of interest, I asked my BFF and husband how much time they think would pass before realizing that I was gone.

My husband said a good eight hours, and the BFF claimed shortly after my husband noticed since he’d probably contact her first after realizing I had been out of touch.

This is not an unreasonable amount of time in my opinion since a regular work day keeps us busy and we don’t have to be in touch all the time. Still, a lot of bad stuff can go down in that amount of time….

Taking it a step further, the extension of this question and in many stories is – how long would you keep searching for me if I were missing?

Perhaps these are morbid questions influenced by the podcasts I listen to and the books I read. Still, no one wants to think about these truths unless forced to, but what’s the harm in having a plan like an evacuation pack or prepping for the end of times?🤪

I kind of liken it to when my grandmothers were getting on in age and it became somewhat worrisome for them to live on their own. So, they called my parents every night to check in. This is a good plan and it’s nice to be in touch regularly with those whom we care about.

So, seriously, how long do you think it would be before anyone would notice you were gone and how long would they keep looking for you? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Do you have a plan in place in the very unlikely event that something like this happens?

~T 😀

Wordsmithing: ‘there’

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Jun 022019
 

One of the problems with communication is using the most accurate wording to express our ideas and thoughts.

As a child, I learned how to record conversations in my head when someone was arguing with or mad at me so that I could pick it apart later to replay what I would or should have said back to make myself understood. Of course, it would be too late (unless the same topic came up again in an argument 🤭), but it helped me with future similar situations.

One thing I tend to do is focus on particular words and require exact explanations as to the other party’s true meaning. 🤔

Taking a semantics class in my MA program exacerbated an already “unhealthy” interest in words as now I had theory and deeper knowledge about the exact meanings of our word usage. 🤓

It’s probably less of a surprise then that I chose to become a professional language teacher. 😜

Anyway, because of this, words and phrases that I hear repeatedly stick in my head as I process what is really meant by them – especially if they are used by different people who do not necessarily know each other.

Recently, one such phrase has been:

~ is getting there

Where is there? What is there? When is there? What’s so special about there?

It seems to me by its usage that wherever or whatever there is, it’s made up and often unreachable.

I want to ask people when I hear “I’m getting there” or “He’s getting there” what that means really?

Obviously, we don’t have to question the literal understanding as a physical location, but what about the figurative? Can I or you or he or she or we ever get there?

If we can’t, then why say it at all since it just sounds defeatist? If we can, then why not just say exactly what the goal is?

Perhaps, it’s because we really don’t know what there is, in which case, I ask why use it at all?

In any case, I hope I’m getting there in understanding what is meant with this phrase….🤷🏽‍♀️

~T 😀

Whispers

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 012019
 

I’m sitting waiting on a stranger’s back deck listening to the beautiful sounds of nature.

The birds are singing to one another and the trees are whispering their secrets spreading from one leaf to another like ripples that turn into waves that crash up on the beach.

I’m reminded of this book I read late last year: The Hidden Life of Trees, and wonder what old stories are being told in the whispering breeze.

The last month’s challenge has propelled my mind towards contemplations in trying to understand the stories both being and wanting to be told with those needing to be heard.

For no story is ever meaningful unless the listener is ready to receive it. 🙉

My hope is to write the stories waiting to be heard. Or, like the quiet whispers of the trees, in sharing my life stories, one realizes it was just what s/he was waiting to hear. 😉

~T 😀

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