August – Creative Meanderings

On the way to 108

Aug 282023

So, today I finished 70 sun salutations for Day 16 of my 28-day challenge to build up to 108 in one go. I wrote when I was starting it two weeks ago.

When I woke up this morning, I was feeling keen. I thought to myself that it’s only another 38 rounds to the full amount and so I could surely get them done and I’d have fulfilled my challenge. Well, by the time I got to the mat and had done about 10, I was rethinking my eager self. At round 45, I began to consider whether or not I would even reach the 70 for the day. By round 60, I felt content that I was nearly done and had stuck to my schedule feeling good about the next session tomorrow.

It was interesting to observe my thoughts as I went from eager beaver to doubting Thomas to happy pappy modes.

What I have observed so far in this process is that there is a discipline required and I am building that skill.

The discipline to get on the mat every day, except the rest days, and to keep to the somewhat arbitrary schedule is a test of fortitude and mental strength. Of course, there is also the physical well-being. My ankle is benefiting for the most part as long as I don’t go too fast or hard. I have to respect the motions. My back is less pleased with the movements so that I have to modify on some rounds or for a set of them to give it a bit of a break. However, this gives me a beginner’s mind in considering how to teach these poses for someone who is not able to do them. The rest of my body is going just fine. I see my shoulders and arms toning back up. I see my bum lifting. I am waiting for my stomach to join the party, but there’s still time.

Most importantly, though, I feel good. It has become a nice routine to get up and spend an hour in my own headspace moving my body. Six months ago, this would have been considered a luxury, so I am thankful to my body for its healing and my mind for its strength.

So, only another 12 days to go with two rest days in there to go!!! I’ve totally got this! 💪🏽

~T 🔥🐉♋️

The Chaos Pendulum

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 212023

Life is very good. People who do not know us or our history have told us that they can never imagine being able to live as we do. People who do not know us or our history think that what we have now was easy to obtain–for us. People who do not know us or our history think that I am a “princess” and M is a “saint”.

Let me emphasize, these are people who do not know us or our history.

Just six years ago, we arrived in Japan nearly penniless having borrowed money from M’s daughter to pay for our plane tickets out of the UAE with only a faint hope that starting over would be how we were going to rebuild our finances and our lives. Thanks to our dear friends and the blessings of the Universe, we were able to find a place to live, and survived on about 15USD a day. For a month, we made the best of it until M’s first paycheck. Slowly, we made progress–moving into a house, increasing our daily spending, I finally started working, and then little by little life became easier.

Then, the pandemic happened. We willingly and consciously decided to uproot ourselves and move continents–again.

Although we were not in the same position as when we arrived in Japan, we were not in the best of positions when we left. Still, life is short and we are eternal optimists (well, me less so than M 😝).

So, we arrived in Europe with a few more pennies in our pocket (and we paid for our own flights 😅), and smarter about how we went about our days. M’s business was taking off so much so that he could quit his other work. I was only working freelance, but for a lot less money. Still, we were on the upside again.

We moved to Italy and found our dream home. Feeling on top of the world, we agreed to a crazy plan to buy the house.

Then, the markets crashed.

Another year of stress came to us as we considered how to ensure we weren’t homeless and penniless–again. Yet, we made it through.

What people see now is the results of all of the above. Keep in mind that’s just the abbreviated version! The fact is that life is full of ups and downs. I consider my husband to be like a walking energy tornado who has a knack of creating chaos. Yet, somehow he makes magic with it. Plus, to give myself some credit, he has me to bring balance to the pendulum. I make sure the pendulum swings are not so extreme anymore–or at least, that is the goal. 🤪

The point is that no one’s life is easy no matter how it may look on the outside. Seeing a slice of the pie doesn’t mean that the other side is still intact or pretty. While we naturally will judge what we can see or want to see, I remind myself and us that we have no idea what’s on the inside of a person or a relationship or a situation. Also, the seemingly perfect can become less than so in a blink of eye so nothing should ever be taken for granted. 😇

In any case, I am enjoying the upswing of the pendulum and am thankful every day that this is my life. 💜

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Importance of Fluidity

Going Mental 2 Responses »

Aug 182023

As someone who is a lover of planning and a general stickler for organizing, I amaze myself when I can be fluid – if I may toot my own horn. 😝

While we were gone, Peanut had to get a surgical procedure done to release a growing abscess. Our sitters were stars in helping out with her and doing her follow-up care. So, when we arrived back home, we had thought the pups 🐶🐶 would be fine to accompany us back to France for a couple more weeks as we have friends coming to stay and they were going to enjoy the house as their own in exchange for taking care of the cats. 🐈🐈‍⬛.

Obviously, it was not to be.

I think M used his strong powers of attraction to ensure that we stay home as he has been a little “homesick” and wanting to be in his own space for the past month. 🤪 So, Peanut’s abscess is returning and needs to head to Rome for a proper scan to see what the source of the infection is. Then, Monty decided to see what it’s like to be a three-legged animal for a bit with a hurt paw that the vet says is probably a chipped bone that can only be rested and watched. Therefore, we are staying put now instead of continuing our summer period in France – though, we may still go for a few days depending on Pea’s recovery status.

When I think about the mental flexibility that is required to stay fluid with our plans, I give myself a pat on the back because normally I would have booked and paid for things already so that we’d have to lose the money or reschedule or stress about what is best to do. Unfortunately, it affirms my husband’s more spontaneous aka chaotic ways as “the right ones” (as he likes to say) with which I 95% disagree. Still, I see the value and importance of allowing for fluidity in plans and life. There are lessons and silver linings that can be found in the experience.

In truth, I am also OK with it because I’ve suddenly gotten a ton of work, want to work on my writing, and some other projects are about to begin. So, it’s helpful to be stable and in one place again for all of this. 😁

However, being fluid also means things could change tomorrow! 😝 So, stay tuned! 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

28 Days to 108 Sun Salutations

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 142023

So, I needed something to prepare myself for an online yoga class that I have agreed to teach *live* weekly. I must have been feeling weak in my desire to do something a bit more meaningful when I agreed to do it. 🤪

In any case, to ensure that my ankle is up for it and that my body is in decent shape before I go on camera in front of a yet unknown number of students, I thought it would be good to start a challenge over the next month I have to prep for it. The fact that I haven’t actually “taught” a yoga class in a few years is not daunting at all… 😬😜

I’m sure like most things, it’ll come back quickly. Plus, I’ll practice. 😅

To help me with this endeavor, I recruited my BFF who I know loves a “challenge” kind of activity. Therefore, we have started a 28-day challenge to complete 108 sun salutations (A) in one-go. After having done day 2 today, I feel it shouldn’t be so hard. My ankle seems happy with it so far and I do not yet feel as if I have reached my fitness limit yet. We shall see how I feel in another few days.

For now, though, it’s a bit of fun and motivation to build up my routine and do something with someone else at the same time. 🙏🏽❤️

Wish me luck! 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

A Bit of Holiday in Western France

Going Mental, Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Aug 082023

Although our lives are admittedly in the realm of “every day is a holiday”, we did take a week to really be on holiday. M has always wanted to surf in the Atlantic, so we headed that direction from our place in the Var, France.

To break up the journey a bit, we revisited a few places that we had been to before when we first got together and M brought me to France for the first time to see if I would like it here. Remember, this was always meant to be our “final destination” – that was before Italy hit our radar. So, we stopped for a night in Carcassonne, which is a wonderful medieval town. We stayed within the castle walls this time as well, which was rather amazing.

From there, we headed for our almost week-long stay in Biarritz. This is a well-known seaside town for surfing and seafood. It was a great town even if the weather did not cooperate for the entire time. We still got a few days of surfing 🏄‍♂️ (for M) and beach bumming (for me) in before a storm came through with wind and rain that made the waves 🌊 too big for those who care about their lives. 🤪 We probably could have stayed one or two fewer nights there, but it did give us a chance to explore around a bit more.

One day, we drove into Spain to visit San Sebastián. It was a bit too grey to fully appreciate, but it was still a cute seaside town as well. Of course, us being as fickle as we are briefly considered whether or not it was somewhere we could live. Fortunately, neither of us were overly enamored with that particular place, so we said no. 😅 However, it was nice to hear some Spanish and feel the flair for a couple of hours.

On our way back, we stopped in a town called Espelette – famous for its pimentos 🌶️ . Apparently, it’s one of the only places that these can grow in France due to its particular climate at the bottom of the Pyrenees mountains 🏔️ . So, we explored the town and, of course, bought some pepper products. 😬

I’ll try to get some more pictures posted soon, but am still editing at the moment as my vacation-mode has not yet fully turned off. 😜

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Start of Summer Reading

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Aug 032023

One of the best parts of beach days is the uninterrupted reading time. Since we have been on the Atlantic Ocean seaside, which is famous/popular for surfing and jumping waves, I have been enjoying time on the sand in the sun. Being more of a land-lover keeps me well away from the waves that I dramatically consider a threat to my life. 🤪

In the past few days, I have finished these two books: The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion and The Letter by Kathryn Hughes.

Both of these books were recommended to me ages ago, but they have sat on my list. However, they both came up on my Kindle Unlimited suggestions and I decided to give them a go in preparation for my summer reading time.

I enjoyed both in different ways. The Rosie Project was cute and made me think in the mindset of someone on the Asperger’s spectrum. I could relate to a lot of the main character’s tendencies for schedules and order in life yet also see the freedom and openness that can be found in letting go for the controls.

With The Letter, it was a quick compact read that I could imagine happening. It had the elements of mystery and love as well, so that was a definite win for me.

So, I would definitely recommend both as quick and light reads that aren’t the usual James Patterson or Danielle Steel type of “trash novels”. Though, I’m still a fan of those too!

With that, I’m off to get started on my next read! 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

The Comfort of Solitude

Going Mental 2 Responses »

Aug 302022

Technically I am not alone as my puppies and the kitties are with me, plus there is the constant sound of nature all around, but for the last 24 and next 36 hours I am in the physical presence of no other humans. M has gone away on his own retreat of sorts in Brussels where he will hopefully feel refreshed and energized from his preferred city of choice.

While I have had conversations with people, I am enjoying my solitary way of life. First of all, I am extremely productive when left to my own time schedule and daily activities. It takes me back to the early pandemic lockdown days when M would still be able to go off to work, but I was able to work from home.

There is something very satisfying and comforting to have a space all to myself. For one, I know that the kitchen will stay clean, surfaces devoid of clutter, and items still put in their designated locations. 😬🤪 However, even deeper than that is the freedom in knowing that no one is going to come interrupt a thought, or there is no need to negotiate time in how it is spent or things that need to be done. Even words do not need to be wasted. 🤫

As I did my yoga this morning and sat for a few minutes (until the dogs decided it was time for a walk), I acknowledged the need for balance in finding time for and with ourselves as well as with others.

There is no doubt in my mind that I love my married life and sharing time, space, and words with my partner gives me a sense of place in this world. He makes me feel meaningful since I do often question what it is that I am doing in this life. In contrast, as someone who loves being in my own company and head, I am most comfortable on my own lost in my contemplations, creations, and conscious.

Yet, too much of either can create an imbalance.

I feel graced by the fact that the Universe took heed to my list requirements in a partner and put someone who understands the importance of a balance of alone time and together time in my life. Although we are so different in many ways, it doesn’t matter because we always strive to find the middle ground that works for both of us.

So, though, I might complain about this or that when it comes to getting my introverted voice heard by the extrovert in my life, I am definitely not doing so when it comes to enjoying the solitude I get to have for a momentary while longer. 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Words & Their Expressions

Going Mental 1 Response »

Aug 232022

The art of expressing through the weaving of nuances and piecing together of words has always been a skill that I appreciate. One reason that I prefer reading or writing over speaking is that time can be spent on the creation and appreciation of the work. Don’t get me wrong, though, if I hear an orator who can wax rhythm and lyric together on the spot, I am in awe.

I just recently finished listening to Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown. She outlines the different pieces of language that we should use to describe our emotions. It was both surprising, and not, to learn that most people only use three or four words to express how they feel – happy, sad, or mad. Yet, we have 87 (known) different emotions and actual words to describe them. After all, if we didn’t have the words, how do we know that we have them?

One of my favorite classes in graduate school was one on semantics. We would chart out the different nuances of words that are similar in meaning, but why we choose one over another in a particular expression. Words are important.

When learning languages through DuoLingo, I am fascinated by which words are taught first. One might assume that the first vocabulary is the same, but some thought has gone into the fact that in French I learned how to ask for croissants and baguettes before knowing how to talk about my family. However, in Italian, I learned about family and mealtimes before the actual dishes or items to eat. Words are important.

Words express culture. Words express the norms of a society, group, tribe, etc. Words are important.

I always know a non-lover of words when the phrase, “it’s just semantics!” is thrown out during a disagreement. This usually signals that the person has no more excuses left to justify why they are ‘wrong’, and so when backed into a corner, the only thing left is to accuse the other person of focusing on the wrong thing. Ironically, the accused may actually be trying to understand the person better through the seeming ‘nit-picking’ on the meaning of the words being used.

For me, I prefer that the most accurate words are used for expression. In this way, less room is allowed for misunderstanding or confusion. It is hard enough to communicate well without having to parse out what someone really is trying to say with the wrong words. Since we all come from different groups/families, words are used differently for various meanings; thus, it is all the more important that we create a common understanding of the words that we are using.

In other words, expanding our vocabularies is meaningful and necessary to express ourselves clearly and openly so that peace and order can reign. Or, at least, this is what I believe. 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Writing as a Living

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 182022

It has been a while since I have had the chance to go on a solo writing retreat due to being busy and also being careful with money. 💰 As there has been a lot of stress in trying to get the house paid off and my sense of frustration with the whole process, it seemed wise to have a break from the environment for a few days.

Whenever I share that I am away people always just assume that it is a holiday, which it is, to some extent, but really I consider it more like a “work trip”. 💻

In one of our heated discussions about money, I suggested that I should go back to work. We had fewer challenges when I was working full-time as we always knew that we had enough money to pay the bills and I had some sense of control over my own ability to spend on things. These days, I feel like a kid again having to ask for money to go shopping, justify it, and then nag until I get it. I understand why there is reluctance and resistance, but it doesn’t make it easier nor more enjoyable.

Still, as M reminds me, it is really a temporary situation as it is just about getting the house paid off. Our monthly income more than covers our expenditures and M wouldn’t be as stressed if we didn’t have the house hanging over us. Normal people get a mortgage and make house payments, but not us. 🤷🏽‍♀️😬

So, that aside – as it will work itself out – we agreed that rather than me going back to work as a teacher, I can work to make money as a writer. This is my dream life, really. I travel and I write. Now, I just need to make some money out of it. 😅

In the end, I have agreed to write another book. While I am plugging along with my fiction novel, which is my main focus for writing on these “work trips”, I am also going to write a book on Umbria, where we have settled. This will be what I work on during the week until it is done. Then, we will see what kind of money we can make from it as M knows how to market it.

Even though I had a massive meltdown recently, I now feel more hopeful and happy with the idea of writing to pay the bills. 😁

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Beauty or Folly of Man

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 162022

People are a strange lot. I often wonder what other life forms think of these Earth crawlers as I am both amazed and dismayed by my fellow humans.

While I maintain my spiritual beliefs, my greatest faith remains in the power of mankind to have the potential to create the awesome and also total destruction. If one ever needs further proof in the balance of yin and yang, I recommend spending some time studying their fellow humans.

I sit writing this in the Piazza della Signoria in Florence, which borders the Uffizi Galleries where the statue of David resides. Here, in this town, Michelangelo created one of the most beautiful representations of the human form in the early 16th century. Over five centuries later, we see a diverse collection of forms that are considered attractive in the eye of a beholder.

People ramble en masse taking in the remnants of the past in whatever form suits them. Some appreciate through the lens of their cameras. Some learn in group tours following the crowd and flag of their guide. Some singularly wander with eyes toward the heavens unaware of what is below. Some pass by with their heads down not caring about the footsteps of those before.

Yet, what I find dissonant is the idea that some among those who walk by carry the souls of Michelangelo and other artists, inspirers of the future, or whatever new idea takes us into the next century.

While the “old” version of me wants to lament at the changed times and suggest there is a lack of appreciation for the beauty that has survived the centuries, the more open-minded part of me is excited and awaits what new beauty shall come forth.

Still, as I consider the state of the world and watch the individuals who stumble by, I question whether my faith is misplaced or if I just need to be a bit more patient for humanity to reveal its highest potential.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

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