Oct 232017
 

I seem destined to a few times a week routine at the moment. I am not going to complain about that as it is definitely better than nothing at all. πŸ˜€

Monday (Oct 16)

  • Meditation 16 minutes
  • Vjnana Manual Monday practice (25mins)

Tuesday (Oct 17)

  • Mindfulness reading (15mins)

Thursday (Oct 19)

  • Meditation (Sam Harris on YouTube) 30 minutes
  • Yoga (30mins)

Friday (Oct 20)

  • Meditation (11mins)

Hopefully I will find a more stable routine in the week to come.

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 212017
 

It’s the middle of the night as I write this. Despite falling asleep around 10ish, which is our usual weekend bedtime, I jolted awake feeling overheated and paranoid about the mosquito loose somewhere in the room even though M “locked it” in the closet. If I know there is a mosquito, I will not sleep as I could swear that I also heard buzzing in my ear. With no way to turn on the light or possibly kill it, I gave up on sleeping for now….

My fingers are crossed that the buzzing in my head will stop by the end of the weekend or early next week. It is hard to explain what it feels like, but sometimes I wonder if this is how patients feel after an electrical shock treatment. It occasionally makes me dizzy and definitely challenges any desire to walk around or move my head at all. If I really thought about it long enough, I am sure there are some yoga poses I could do to help the situation, but it is hard enough for me to focus my mind on one thing long enough to remember what it is I am doing….

I have noticed a massive mood disruption. My people tolerance has gone down – I didn’t even know that was possible…! M and I have had small quibbles and one big one of late. Old response are hard to break…. Although I am aware of these things after some thought, in the moment I am suddenly unable to pause and control what comes out of my mouth. The fuse is shorter at the moment.

Hopefully, this is just part of the stabilizing process and reconnection with my own control over my responses to others. Clearly I need to do more serious meditation and exercise to counteract whatever is currently going on with my mental faculties.

Anyway, step 1 is knowing. Step 2 is accepting. Step 3 is action….

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 182017
 

Day 4 – chemical free with the help of a break from the grey and falling spit from the sky.

Yesterday was foggy both in my mind and in the weather. It continues to get colder day-by-day, but with the sun in the sky my heart warms today. It is not clear whether it is the lifting of the fog in my head or the fall climate that is affecting me, but really it does not matter – my own mind is returning.

I can definitely feel the difference. It actually makes me happy to know that my mood is no longer being controlled by chemical aid. While I sense the ups and downs happening much more acutely than before, I am actually reveling in the ‘crazy’. πŸ˜›

Actually, it gives me a chance to reflect on myself again and to get a new handle on how to control my impulses. The good news is that the fog is lifting inside even if it only worsens outside. πŸ˜€

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 162017
 

Well, this week turned out a little bit better than last. I can definitely feel the difference, so that is good news! πŸ˜€

Tuesday (Oct 10)

  • Meditation for 30minutes
  • Vjnana Manual Sunday practice (40mins)

Wednesday (Oct 11)

  • Mindfulness Reading for 20minutes

Thursday (Oct 12)

  • Meditation for 12minutes
  • Free practice (20mins)

Friday (Oct 13)

  • Meditation for 26minutes
  • Vjnana Manual Friday practice (34mins)

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 132017
 

As I posted about a week ago, I am still writing and am currently work on series on spiritual well-being. πŸ™πŸ½ To ensure that I am writing from a place of truth rather than theory, I decided that it was time to return more seriously to my own practice.

After my training finished, I sort of took a long break to focus on other aspects of my life (of which I am still working on getting out), so while I knew that there would be some consequences to that time off, it was worth it on a few levels.

First, any time that it seems that something is working or vital in life I think it is a good idea to take a step back and see if it really is. We can easily convince ourselves that a new fad or trend has meaning or positive effects, but it isn’t really until we stop doing it that we know for sure.

Let me digress with an example – I was convinced that taking a multivitamin was helping me from getting sick and feeling better. My skeptic husband said he was convinced they had zero effect and was just part of the money-making scheme of vitamin sellers. Well, I did not like that and I particularly do not like the idea of companies making money off of my ignorance. Still, I was not ready to admit defeat to my husband….. πŸ˜₯ So, I quietly tested his theory and stopped taking the vitamins. Three months later, I realized that there was zero change to my health, energy-levels, etc. Thus, with great reluctance I admitted he was probably correct…. πŸ˜‡ While they may have had some internal benefits, there was no physical change without them, so why continue spending my money on them? πŸ€‘

Back to my original train of thought – unlike the vitamins, I noticed after three months that my skin was sagging, my muscle tone was diminishing and the back pains that I used to have had returned. 😳 My sleep was again being affected as well. 😴 On top of that I was dependent again on chemical help to balance my mind. All the things that had greatly improved from my regular practice were slowly returning to the detriment of my quality of life.

After just a week of fairly regular practice in both meditation and yoga, my body is returning to its fit form and my mind is definitely less agitated even as I slowly come off the meds. πŸ™ƒ For a 41-year-old, I take pride in the fact that I am probably in the best shape of my life without all the angst of having to maintain it as required in my 20s and 30s. 😜

Therefore, when I am asked how I keep calm despite other influences in my life, I can continue to confidently say that it is through the regular training of both my body and mind.

So, as I write this series for April Magazine, I keep in mind that this is after nearly 18 months of heavy training, reading loads of books and practicing daily that I have gotten to this place of ‘zen’. My hope to help others find this remains just as strong as ever before. πŸ’ͺ🏽 Now, it’s time to take action….

~T β˜€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

Oct 102017
 

Well, it has indeed been a while since I last posted This Week’s Workouts as I have been rather sporadic in my workout routine. Also, not having a gym makes it more challenging. Although I do tend to walk quite a bit every day, this maintains my weight but does not do much for tone or my idea of ‘fitness’.

Therefore, as I set out to do early last week, I have gone back to meditating and doing yoga regularly. With a slight hiatus starting early for the long weekend, I did manage to get myself onto the mat a few times.

So, here’s what I did last week, so technically this is a LWWs post. πŸ˜›

Monday (Oct 3)

  • Meditation for 15 minutes
  • Vjnana Manual Monday practice (35mins)

Tuesday (Oct 4)

  • Meditation for 20 minutes (Tara Brach)
  • Vjnana Manual Tuesday practice (25mins)

Wednesday (Oct 5)

  • Meditation for 22 minutes (Tara Brach)
  • Vjnana Manual Wednesday practice (35mins)

I am satisfied with the start at least! πŸ˜€

~T πŸ˜€

Jul 292017
 

 

July 23rd (Sunday)

  • 58:52 5.21km on treadmill

July 24th (Monday)

– Treadmills were all taken due to some maintenance in the gyms, so had to do a short 20' workout

  • 60 30kg total abdominal crunch
  • 40 back crunches
  • 20 4kg tricep curls (each side)
  • 12 4kg bicep curls (each side)
  • 30 20kg chest press machine

July 25th (Tuesday)

  • recovery from sore heel

July 26th (Wednesday)

  • 46:43 4km on treadmill

July 27th (Thursday) – July 28th (Friday)

  • Rest days

July 29th (Saturday)

  • 39:06 3.06km on treadmill
Jul 282017
 

Two days before the darkest days of my life started I began a new round of anti-depressants because as I had written, I was considering it based on my up and down moods.

Luckily, they kicked in on the day that I had to cope to distract me from the reality of our situation. It has now been just over a month and I definitely notice the change this time around.

While others around me are extremely emotional or responsive to things, I am not so affected.

In yoga philosophy, we often discuss a state of “detachment” which is described as not having emotion one way or the other as a reaction to life happening around us. Some who are not ready for such a thing imagine being a robot without emotion and despise the idea of it. Others, like me, crave it because I am a bit desensitized, which is good being a fairly sensitive person to my surroundings.

I truly sense my detachment toward results, other people’s behavior, etc. It does not mean that I am emotion-less, but just that I am not taken into extreme moods so easily. I also recognize when I need to keep my mouth shut because the emotional response I might get is not really worth it.

When I took these anti-depressants before, I did not know what to expect or what to look out for. However, this time I am definitely more aware of the effects on me.

Some side effects, though, are that I am much more tired than usual. So, now like an old lady I need an afternoon nap and I sleep a great deal more at night than usual. Of course, this might be stress as well since it is not yet over. However, I can also feel my head zapping now and then…. Thankfully, my headaches are no more.

So…although I do not plan to stay on them for too long, I am glad I decided to go back on them again especially during our crisis. No doubt I might have gone to some other extreme had I not started them. πŸ˜€

~T πŸ˜€

Jun 242017
 

JuneΒ 18th (Sunday)

  • 60β€² Private yoga session

June 19th (Monday)

  • 20’29” 2km walk/run on treadmill
  • 2’18” plank regular and elbow

June 20th (Tuesday)

~wasn’t feeling well last night so had someone sub my yoga class and decided to just do a nice ‘leisurely walk’ today just to ensure that I reignite the habit of getting to the gym every day. Hoping to be back to normal soon – feel better than yesterday so far….

  • 33’05” 3.07 walk on treadmill

June 21st -23rd (Wednesday -Friday)

  • Chaos….

June 24th (Saturday)

  • 33’36” 3.12km walk on treadmill
Jun 172017
 

Last Saturday I was not quite as warmed up as I should have been doing our practical yoga exam. We did things a bit quicker than normal to save on time. Unfortunately, I did not also apply this to pushing myself a bit less knowing that injury was possible….

So, we were nearly finished when we went into upavistha konasana (seated wide legged stretch) when I felt something in my glutes pop. It made a sound much like knuckles cracking. At first it felt kind of good as if something had been released. For most of the morning I felt fine. By the time I got home in the afternoon I was limping and sore. An ice pack helped and I thought I would be okay.

However, I have still had yoga sessions this week when I seem to re-injure the glute with a forward fold… πŸ™ On top of that, to compensate for the pain on the right glute, my left lower back has started to hurt as I am obviously off balance a bit now. So…that’s annoying, but I managed to get through the week anyway.

Instead of the gym – which I am going to get back to as soon as I’m healed up as I have agreed to do a July MRTTAD challenge with a team – I attempted planking…. πŸ˜›

JuneΒ 11th (Sunday)

  • 60β€² Private yoga session

June 12th (Monday)

  • 3’05” plank
  • 60β€² Wellness Yoga

June 13th (Tuesday)

  • 60β€² Private yoga session

June 14th (Wednesday)

  • 60β€² Private yoga session

June 15thΒ (Thursday)

  • 2’30” plank – been a bit lazy with my bum and back pains….

June 16th (Friday)

  • 60β€² Private yoga session

June 17th (Saturday)

  • Rest

So, not really great, but better than nothing I say! Just another week or so of the regular yoga sessions until I have a month off. Then, it’ll be time to hit the gym and reassess my schedule a bit. πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€