It really doesn’t take long to follow the path of least resistance and return to old habits – whether deemed good or bad.
M came back on Sunday. On Monday, we went out with friends for lunch and an evening out. My stomach was a bit in shock with the return to booze and food, so I went easy on both.
On Tuesday, we got up early and went for a long walk. The finding of a Beagle dog on the road and waiting for her owner to pick her up threw off our schedule a bit so that I forgot it was market day as I did a bit of emails, writing, etc. before we went off for a beach day. On the way, we got bumped from behind so that further offset our schedule and focus. All was fine and went alright, but by the time we arrived we wanted to eat and drink. I tried to keep the consumption light.
Wednesday was a quieter day with a morning walk into town for croissants and home for coffee. We had lunch with our friend, but again didn’t overindulge. Yet, there was still food and drink as the focus, which made me feel tired and heavy. By the time I had had a nap, though, all was reset so we drove to Cannes for a walkabout and dessert. Sometimes when we find we are “bored” from lack of activity, we end up eating and/or drinking.
Yesterday wasn’t too bad in that regard, though we still went in for a morning coffee and croissant. I always feel that at least the walk to and from town (about 15 mins each way) makes it OK to then have the treat. We spent the afternoon on the beach, but still had a light carb-filled lunch. In the evening, we met up with our friends and had burger dinners with a bit of rosΓ©.
This morning, we went into town for the usual c&c, but went to the other side of town to get a longer walk in. π€ͺ
While I enjoy all the interaction and activity that we do, I find myself more aware of the focus on the βοΈ and π₯ or simply food and drink. When I am on my own, I definitely have the morning cup, but usually no food. So, I know that it is M’s influence that I get encouraged to include more eats than I might do alone. It’s not a complaint in any way, but more of an observation at how easy it is to let this behavior go as normal yet not necessarily “good”. I had been on a good trajectory to get my weight gain under control again. I had felt results. However, I do now wonder if that is being undone by my lack of willpower to be strict again.
It’s an interesting consideration as to how much one can or should live with willpower and control over diet and exercise vs. just going with the flow and letting the mood decide. As with everything, there is a balance no doubt. I think I am still working that out, which is slightly harder to do when everyday is basically like a holiday…. π π π
Now that I’ve written about it, it’ll stay in the forefront of my mind for pondering and perhaps I shall return my awareness to the center so as not to lose the benefits that I was getting. π¬
~T π₯πβοΈ
Its painful to read about your struggle with food. The last time I saw you, I thought you looked perfect. Maybe if you give yourself a break once in a while, it won’t feel so shameful.
Awww, thank you. It’s not so much a struggle, but an awareness. I don’t think I have a problem, per se, more of an adjustment to the reality that aging bodies cannot keep up with my teenage mind towards eating. π