Jul 122016
 

Day 17:  What knowledge are you grateful for?

Honestly, I am enjoying these gratitude questions as I find them to be thought-provoking. I mean when was the last time you considered being grateful for knowledge let alone a specific knowledge? 😛 As a person who hungers for knowledge as a way of coping with the craziness of this world, it is difficult to pinpoint a particular knowledge. However, what comes to mind in my current state of frenzy is that I am grateful to have learned and come to understand the role of mindfulness and meditation. I cannot claim to have full knowledge of this yet as I am not sure that anyone present on this earth has it; however, I am grateful that knowing about it came to my awareness as it has honestly saved me this past month. It is frightening to think where I would be right now if I did not know how to go into a mindful meditative state to calm me or give me perspective on my current situation. So, yes, indeed I am grateful for this knowledge.

——

I must admit that my head is swimming lately and I have to remind myself to focus on one task or thought frequently. I used to pride myself in being able to sit still for hours on end and lose myself in a thought or activity. With so much unsettledness at the moment, I am struggling to keep myself centered and grounded on activities that I know will help me to induce a quasi-sense of norm into my life.

One topic I wanted to touch upon is a sense of spiritual connectedness returning to me. In my 20s and early 30s, I spent a lot of time at churches or reading the Bible and seeking a relationship with God as encouraged by Christian beliefs. When I divorced, I spent probably an equal amount of time avoiding these kinds of activities as a sense of rebellion, revenge and cutting of a spiritual connection with my ex.

Then, I began to do yoga and coaching. A new awareness of a spirit within came and I embraced it as a semi-new-age way of incorporating the concept of God into me without embracing a specific religion. No formal religion has ever appealed to me or convinced me enough to identify with it completely. Now, the more I work through the philosophy of yoga and meditation, I am drawn to the teachings that we have the spiritual greatness within us that connects us to the Universe. It is the Universal Spirit that guides us.

As I start to make sense of what this might really mean, I am finding that I am returning to some of the Christian beliefs. The Lord has now become the Lord Universe to me – a larger presence greater than man who guides us through our inner spirits. The Holy Spirit may be its Christian name, but I prefer to combine these concepts because I do not believe we need to divide into religious dogmas – rather we can rejoice in a common understanding that we have power within us to behave according to a Universal desire for union, love, compassion and greatness for ourselves and for others.

This ‘awakening’ and re-realization has helped me immensely through a time of testing my patience, my trust, my sanity, etc. With it also comes some clarity and focus. 😀

~T 😀

Jul 112016
 


Yesterday I decided to play around with making a story via Snapchat.

For someone of my generation it is difficult to take “snaps” and not save them as we grew up saving photos – I mean actual pictures you can touch – then when digital format came out we still want to save them to look at later. Therefore, a program that makes your images disappear after 24hrs seems strange.

If you don’t know already, Snapchat allows you to have a story and you post your videos or pics as you capture a moment of your day. Its biggest draw is the selfies with various animations or face contortions.

Anyway, I decided to see what it would be like to save what I capture and then later put it into a movie.

My movie is not very interesting and was a bit of work, though not as much as it might seem. However, I think I have a new appreciation for just living in the moment. We do not really need to save the mundane unless it is for a video documentary like this…. Besides, I am not really planning on becoming a video blogger or anything like that any time soon…..

So, I think I’ll try more to enjoy the moment by moment offering that Snapchat is. At least it was fun to have a little impromptu project for the day. 😀

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Day 16:  What about your body are you grateful for?

As a woman of 40, I am pleased to feel as if my body is in the best shape of my life. While most of the time we strive to retain our bodies from our 20s when we took for granted that we could eat whatever we wanted with little to no exercise, I am happy to say that my body is better than my 20’s body. Regular yoga practice has definitely made my body what it is now. In fact, I exercise less at a gym than ever before and sweat a lot less. 😛 So, I am grateful that my body is looking fiiiiine for my age. I am also always working on the inside health by trying to eat well, though the past month or so has been a bit of a slip since we are not in our own kitchen space. However, that is soon to change and it will be back to healthy Paleo living again! 😀

~T 😀

Jul 092016
 

robber

_The Robber Bride_ by Margaret Atwood

My foray into Margaret Atwood is spotty. It seems that I come across her books quite by accident. The first one I ever read by Atwood was _The Blind Assassin_, which I picked up at a thrift shop somewhere when I was visiting my parents. I devoured that finding it very interesting. Then, a friend of mine from graduate school recommended _The Handmaiden’s Tale_, which I picked up one day and was hooked. I, then, got into her _Oryx and Crake_ trilogy (the last of which I will write about soon). So, when I came across this title in the discounted books on campus, I had to give it a go.

Since my summer plans have been altered somewhat, I can still maintain my poolside reading even if it is in ‘staycation’ mode. 😛 Also, as most of my days are not always easy to fill up completely, having a good book to read helps. So, I started this and took just about a week to complete (it is not a thin book).

While I think I had a bit of a hard time believing the main thread about Zenia, I thoroughly enjoyed the craft of weaving three (four) women’s stories connected by the one thread. I cannot say that I truly ever got what the message was for the book as I can generally get from her other novels. However, I still enjoyed the read. I would say, though, it is not her strongest novel.

By the way, I have returned to paper books lately…. I am not sure why, though I did read the Patterson book from yesterday on my Kindle app. Just an interesting (or not so much) observation for the moment. 😀

——

Day 14:  What sight are you grateful for today?

I am guessing that this means like a scenery or view rather than the ability to see….Another difficult one to answer when I consider all of the sights I have seen in my travels. From the heights of Machu Picchu to the god-like structures of Egypt or the natural beauties of mountain and sea, how does one choose? However, in this question, the key for me is ‘today’. Therefore, today, I am grateful for the sight of my husband when I woke up this morning. He’s my sunshine each day and when I hear his voice, I smile. 😀 Yep, of all the wonders I have seen, today I am most grateful to see my sweet husband!

~T 😀

Jul 082016
 

murder

_The Murder House_ by James Patterson

In my quest to keep distracting myself and still enjoy the long Eid weekend, I decided to give myself a little reprieve from my four other books I am reading and have some ‘holiday’ pleasure.

This title popped up on my Goodreads recommended list and I put it on m wishlist to save for later. I think it came up again for a discounted rate, so I went ahead and bought it. Boy, am I glad that I did.

Despite Patterson’s tendencies to write formulaic stories, I must say this one kept me going straight to the very end. I was left guessing and changing my mind page to page on who was the killer. The story worked well and I ploughed through it in just over a 24-hr period. Not bad! 😀 Of course, it helps that I keep waking up most nights and cannot go back to sleep… 😛

Definitely recommend this one and am glad to be entertained again by a Patterson quick read.

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Day 13:  What abilities are you grateful for?

Hm…I think I am most grateful for the ability to love. I can come across as fairly harsh with my black & white way of thinking. I tend to have a harsh manner and may be perceived as rough around the edges at times. However, once this tough exterior is penetrated, I do love deeply, fiercely and for forever. I am grateful that I do not love at whim, but that I am given the freedom to be a bit picky about my loving and then am able to let love flow! Yes, I am grateful for the ability to love. I think we need much more of this in the world especially in our current times. 😐

~T 😀

Jul 072016
 

Yesterday I wrote on the idea of saturation within yoga. After I wrote, I began to consider this more and recalled how I have often felt annoyed towards those who simply went for a two-month TEFL certification to be ‘qualified’ to teach English as a foreign language – something that I spent two years studying extremely hard on to be able to call myself a professional in the TESOL world. Of course, I know that my qualification will likely outshine someone with only a few months training; still, it felt like such things cheapen the field.

The same sense was starting to stir regarding yoga. I am spending a year studying the way of life of yoga to gain a 300-hr certification. Some people can go (even I recently considered this) for a two-week stint to get a 200-hr certification and be “just as qualified” to then begin to teach yoga. In fact, one might say they are ‘more qualified’ because they have a certification sooner. However, someone who goes to an ashram and spends months or years there to immerse themselves into the way of life of a yogi may feel the same about me. 😐

This makes me consider, has the concept of elitism disappeared? I remember in my college days I really disliked my friends having elitist attitudes. We went to a ‘high-brow’ liberal university for Oregon and many students there were very intelligent. Still, I was not comfortable with encouraging an attitude of ‘us’ vs ‘them’. Division is not the answer – or so I thought.

However, there is something to be said about mastering a craft and being proud of this mastery. Actors who can recite Shakespeare’s many plays off the cuff are masters of their craft. Authors who compete with the classics of Tolstoy or Hemingway are masters of their craft. Artists who create original pieces that resonate amidst the greats are masters of their craft. What about all those others who also call themselves actors, writers and artists but do not reach these same levels of mastery? Is there anything wrong with having a plethora of people in these fields who are aspirants rather than gurus?

Honestly, no.

In fact, a guru is not a guru without aspirants. Thus, in my contemplations of saturation and too many people joining particular fields, I realized that the universe is very large and I would be/am arrogant to think that there is not room for everyone in every field. There is enough abundance and room for everyone to be successful at what they do – at any level. No one can take away from another’s success because we each have our own unique spin and qualities within the same fields. There are enough people in the world who will want to learn English from a variety of English teachers. There are enough people in the world who will want to learn yoga from the various styles and instructors. There are enough people in the world who will read what others write or appreciate art of a particular artist.

So, I return to my college way of thinking – division is not the answer. Friendly competition is healthy to motivate and keep us developing, but division is never the answer. We do not need to have ‘elite’ status, but rather aim to continue living life with integrity, pride, honesty, joy, compassion and the sharing of our individual talents with the world to make it a better place day by day. 😀

——-

Day 12:  What texture are you grateful for?

Textures…when I think of textures I immediately think of the ones I do not like when it comes to food. However, that is not the purpose of this gratitude challenge. Therefore, the texture I think I am most grateful for is fleece or something similar to this. Fleece brings me warmth and makes me feel cozy. Even though I live in the hot desert, I am often cold inside and love to pop on my fleece lounge pants (much to my husband’s dismay). It puts a smile on my face to feel the soft fleece on my skin – so thank you very much for fleece! 😛

~T 😀

Jul 062016
 

Why I have not written about such a big part of my life sooner, I am not sure; but it is appropriate for me to now write a bit about yoga.

Yoga has become massively popular recently and is growing in its trend around the world. While I sense that it may become saturated like many things do when the masses decide they want to jump on the bandwagon and ’embrace’ it to the point of becoming a yoga instructor or labeling themselves a yogi, I want to be clear that this is NOT the case with me. Perhaps this is even part of the reason why I have not written about it sooner.

Union or yoke is the meaning of yoga. Union and yoke with the world, others, the universe, the self (conscious and subconscious). Yoga is not just a fitness activity – though some use it for such. Yoga is a way of life and a pathway to letting go of the self (ego). The benefits of yoga are health, flexibility, calm, compassion and peace in believing we are all where we should and need to be in this moment.

When I see posts or videos of bikini yoginis (female practitioners) or flexible yogis (male practitioners), I am actually put off by the yoga movement. This is NOT what yoga is about. Those who study yoga philosophy and practice with true focus do not wish to show the world what one is capable of – for that is the ego showing off – defeats the number one belief of yoga:  to let go of the self.

On the other hand, I am in some ways joining the market saturation as this is my new business. I am becoming a yoga instructor, life coach and wellness trainer. Although I may need to post some pictures of poses or write some posts on my business site about these topics, it is definitely not to show off. My Instagram account will not be filled with me doing all the crazy advanced poses possible (by the way, I am not there yet anyway!), but rather with basic poses and tips to encourage people to embrace the way of life so that the world is spread with more compassion, peace and contentment starting with the individual.

Soon I will share my business site here as well, but until then remember not to get sucked in to all this yoga hype! Find out for yourself what it really means and then give it a try for at least 3 months to see what it can do for your own health and well-being.

Sunshine & lightness!

——

Day 11:  What holiday are you grateful for?

These are good general questions leaving room for interpretations. Holiday can mean an official one or ‘school’ ones, right (i.e. spring break, summer, etc.)? I am going to go with an American official holiday called Thanksgiving. After all, I am American, right?! Besides, we are not the only country with a Thanksgiving (Canada). While we could argue over the origins of the holiday and discuss the dirty politics of how it ever came to be – again, let us just skip over that to the happy thoughts! 😀

Having been away from my family on this holiday for so many years I cannot really count, I always make a point of celebrating Thanksgiving proper American-style each year. One reason for this is to give thanks to those in my life who become my family abroad. Since many, or shall I say most, of my friends are not American, it is also a chance for me to share a piece of my culture. Thanksgiving in my house has always been a close family affair. I have enjoyed it more than Christmas! I mean, who wouldn’t want to eat over getting gifts??? 😛 So, it is even fitting to say I am grateful for Thanksgiving as a holiday….

~T 😀

Jul 052016
 

Day 10:  What taste are you grateful for today?

This is a strange question, no? Taste…? Have you ever considered a taste to be grateful for before? Hm… 😛 Well, technically choosing taste would be salty, sweet, bitter and the like, right? If this is the case, then I am grateful for the taste of sourness – or whatever taste is most related to kimchi! 😀 I do love my kimchi. I almost always have some in the fridge and if I do not eat it regularly I definitely get cravings for it. While others might crave sweets, I crave the joyful taste of kimchi! Yep, I know it is an acquired taste, but once you acquire it – oh how delightfully delicious it is!

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Yesterday, America celebrated its 240th anniversary of independence from Britain. It seems also rather ironic that in this same year, Britain will have claimed independence from the European Union. Unlike the independence of the United States promising freedom and prosperity, the BrExit bodes poorly for the English nation.

However, setting aside the negative nasties of politics and any obvious possibility of discussion on the decline of the U.S., let us focus on the gratitudes we can have towards my adopted country!

When I talk about freedom as one of my values, there is no other country that allows me such. When I think about integrity and honesty, I think of the pride of American people to hold dear the land of the free and the brave. While we can say this is brainwashing or nationalistic, I say what is wrong with that really? Shouldn’t we be proud of our home countries?

As an expat, who has lived very little of my adult life in my home country, I still feel privileged to be able to say I am American. In fact, I think I appreciate the USA a lot more because I have lived away from it for so long. My national pride is probably stronger because I see it from the outside and through my travels realize how lucky we have been in the States. Opportunities are limitless, freedom is a right not a privilege and so much more.

Of course, every nation has dark sides to consider and areas left to grow in, but overall, I am proud to say Happy 240th Birthday to my country of citizenship! What a different world it would be if the USA did not exist.

~T 😀

Jul 042016
 

winter

_Winter of the World_ by Ken Follett

The Century Trilogy #2 following _Fall of Giants_, which I read about three years ago now continues with the next generation of characters during the World War II period. Following characters from Germany, Russia (Soviet Union), the US and Britain provides all different sides of the war time. Follett’s continuation of characters from the first novel makes it even more engaging and worth the read of the many pages of this novel.

As I do like historical fiction, despite my lack of attention to current events, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and was excited to see the overlapping of characters. I was able to lose myself in their lives and feel almost as if I were there or even in a film engaged in the imagery provided. Follet also does a great job of including social changes and thoughts from the period that he is writing about. Overall, a big thumbs up from me! 😀

——

Day 9:  What place are you most grateful for?

Well, if you asked me this question before June 4, I probably would have thought up of some place I have traveled to or a place of my past. However, right now, right here, I am most thankful for 415. Without 415, we would be either totally homeless or forking out a load of money for a hotel that we could not afford. Thanks to the amazing generosity of our dear friends, we are able to stay in the 415 for free and have a sense of ‘home’ for the time-being. We are certain we will have our own new home very soon, but in the meantime there is no other place I could be more grateful for than where we are right now. 🙂

~T 😀

Jul 032016
 

Day 8:  What book are you most grateful for?

Oh my what a very tough question for me…! There are so many wonderful books out there and reading is my absolute favorite form of escaping reality. I have been doing it for as long as I can remember – reading to enter another world. 😛 I think, however, the book I am most grateful for is _Anne of Green Gables_ by LM Montgomery. Why? First, I found my kindred spirited BFF through a mutual love of this novel/series. Also, it was probably the first proper story about adoption that I could relate to in some shape or form. While for most, this is a story of a strong-willed, free-spirited red-headed young girl whose short temper and mischievous nature got her into a number of tangles, then she grew up to be a role model and made her adopted parents proud; for me, it was much more than this. It was hope. So, I am grateful that this book was written and also so popular to become great films too! 😀

——

Lately, I have been struggling a little bit mentally and emotionally. I suppose that I could say I have been depressed; though not in my bipolar way, but in a truly depressed kind of way. In fact, I have been sleeping far more than I usually do and it is not due to vacation-mode settling in; but rather more of another form of escape since reading was not working either.

One of the reasons for this state of mind is a sense of being trapped. Now, freedom is one of my greatest values in life. I need to feel free to feel like myself. It was something that became central to my existence from the time I went to university. It is a value that I struggled with due to my background of not having any control over my early years. Since then, I have prided myself in the fact that I have held good jobs, managed my money just enough to ensure I could travel or have the lifestyle that I want, etc.

Since deciding to quit my job, circumstances have changed and with a number of changes happening all at once, I am, for the first time in my life, in a situation where I feel trapped again. One reason I held off on ever wanting to get married again was also that sense of responsibility for another person. Now, I do not feel trapped by being married, but together we have created a status that has crippled my sense of freedom.

This is, of course, temporary and I know that in due time everything will be even better than it was before. Therefore, it is a matter of getting my head back on straight, my heart full again, and my focus on what matters most. We are both healthy and generally happy. I have a lot of freedom in terms of time, which is a new experience that I can focus on enjoying. I have a lot of freedom in what I can do each day as far as exercise, yoga, pool-time, etc.

Thus, if I keep my eye on the prize, I know that all is well. 🙂

~T 😀

Jul 022016
 

awaken

_Awaken the Giant Within_ by Anthony Robbins

I read this some time ago and am not sure how I did not write about it earlier, but in any case, it was a book recommended by a friend, especially when I started on the coaching path.

Tony Robbins has been a big name inspirational coach for a while. M and I even found a common bond in liking what TR says. In fact, M has gone on a retreat and walked on fire with TR. 🙂 While I am not quite that gung-ho about things, I did enjoy the read. Robbins gives some tips and tricks for overcoming negative behavioral patterns, ways to take control of finances and relationships – all using the power within ourselves and becoming aware of how we limit ourselves. By awakening our inner giants and allowing them to guide our lives, we can have even more fulfilling and happier lives.

All of this is connected to meditation, subconscious minds, positive affirmations and the like. It is good for me to be reminded about this book in a currently stressful time. I can take control from within! 😛

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Day 7:  What memory are you grateful for?

Memories are a mixed bag for me. Some aspects of life I would like to not remember. Some aspects of life I wish I had more memories for which to recall them. Some day I may not have any memories at all. 😛 If I sort through my limited memories as a child, I would say I am most grateful for the one when I was playing in the snow, having a carefree day, laughing and not thinking about anything. It is perhaps the last time I ever felt completely relaxed. It is perhaps the reason why I hesitate to ever let loose again as it was the day when my life was to be taken down a miserable path for the next 3 years. However, before knowing that, I can recall my laughing, smiling and the joy of playing. So, I am grateful to have this memory. 🙂

~T 😀

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