Feb 152023
 

It’s hard to believe that just eight years ago, I met my partner in life. While I do not know if there are such things as soulmates, I do believe there are perfect partners at perfect times in life. Perhaps, even there are multiple soulmates in life – sometimes embodied in one individual that one might be lucky enough to find early in life or divided into multiple individuals whom we meet when the timing is right. Or, perhaps, it’s all hogwash and we just figure out how to be with someone else as we live life.

Whatever one believes or feels, I am glad to have met my “lobster” in the words of Phoebe in Friends.

I’ve had deep love and I’ve had good enough love and I’ve had not sure if this is love but I’ll see kind of relationships before. None of them really stuck until I met M.

Who knows what lies ahead of us and if we are together forever? It doesn’t really matter because he is my person for this moment and the foreseeable future. Thank goodness, too – I’m not sure that I will ever make the effort to find someone else if I ever find myself on my own again.

Anyway, I’m not necessarily a big V-day celebrant, but I enjoy the idea around celebrating love. So, we do. Besides, we are also still mushy in-love with each other – most of the time.

This year, we had made appointments in Rome for a general practitioner visit to get ourselves – mostly him – checked up on our health status since it has been a couple of years due to our moving around. Now that we are more settled and his health hasn’t been 100 percent, we thought sooner rather than later was best. I mean, what better day to do it than on V-day? So, we booked a hotel and went a day early as our appointments were early-ish in the morning.

Celebrating early also means that it is easier to get reservations! I found a middle-range priced restaurant where we had a really nice meal, enjoyed each other’s company and counted each other lucky to have found someone to share life with.

So, we had a lovely time and look forward to even more V-days ahead!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Feb 092023
 

About a year ago, I saw an advertisement online for this machine. At the time, they were taking pre-orders as they were closing up their funding sources. I had scoffed at the very high price of the machine since I often see random adverts on my social media.

However, I kept up with them and saw that the price decreased a bit eventually. Also, I calculated how much I was spending on my speciality milk at the grocery store.

For many years, I have been lactose intolerant and have not drank regular milk much for years. Mostly, I have been drinking soy milk since that was always the main alternative milk option. Lately, more options have become available, but the catch is that finding brands that do not have a lot of extras in the ingredients is near impossible. For the soy milks, I have been looking for those with the highest percentage of soy and the only other ingredient being water. This is hard to find, but we have been able to source it at our local grocery store for a while.

Unfortunately, I think I have developed a soy intolerance. Not a big one, but enough to be noticeable as I get a scratchy throat, or I think it has been contributing to my inability to drop my weight as much as I would like. What made me consider that it was the soy is that when I went to the US, I had almond milk if I had any milk and managed to lose weight – which was a weird fact given how much bigger portions are there.

So, I decided that when I got my first paycheck with my editing job I would buy one of these machines to make natural milk at home.

That moment has come!

I set it up and after sorting out some of the details of it, made my first glass of milk from almonds and water only. The process took about three minutes and the jar was filled with white frothy milk that I used in my coffee. It tasted delicious. For the next bottle, I am going to try to add in a date for a bit of sweetness, but there are many options. We can try oats or cashews as well. So, it will be fun to test out different recipes that are also shared through fellow users online.

Here’s to a delicious cup of milk not πŸ₯›!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Feb 072023
 

Well, winter took its time this year and the cold has truly set it. I had thought that perhaps we would miss the worst of it, but alas nature must always take its course. This was confirmed by the groundhog, Phil, seeing his shadow this year.

I know I might sound like a princess πŸ‘ΈπŸ½, but hey ho, I dislike cold weather as much as I dislike the heat. I was made for temperate climates – just like Goldilocks. Most of the time, I can endure because I really don’t like to leave the house that much, even to go into our own yard. However, now and then I do venture out. Plus, the dogs cannot just be left to their own devices for walks – though they do a pretty good job.

When we moved to Southern France, we looked forward to living in warmer temperatures year-round. However, the first year had us feeling a bit cold πŸ₯Ά though. Still, it was like in Japan where I felt it was endurable given that the sun was shining.

Somehow, when we moved to Italy, I thought that it would be warmer as it felt more south. However, two winters in and I am definitely no longer fooled by the lack of sunshine or warmth. These days, it is the cold wind that blows through despite the sunshine β˜€οΈ.

So, I have made an executive decision to not experience another winter in this area, if I don’t have to. I know it is a luxury. I also know that it seems spoiled. However, with the means and capability, why not?

In the same vein, I also no longer enjoy the really hot weather. With the onset of menopause or all that surrounds it, the warmer temperatures make me overheat quickly and turns me into a raging 😀 fiend. Therefore, I also have determined we shall avoid being here for the height of the summer months as well.

To make this happen, I have listed our new home on a site called Home Exchange. It is a nice way of being able to travel and stay somewhere for free, really. As we often have issues in finding pet-sitters, the bonus is that people will also take care of our cats and dogs while staying in our house. There are two ways of using this service. One is to do what they call a reciprocal exchange – home for home at the same time. Think the film The Holiday. The other way is using guest points. For every stay that we allow, we get points that can then be used to stay somewhere else. Since we are looking at some vacation options, it is amazing to think that we might be able to stay for, more or less, free.

Mostly, I just cannot wait until we have warmer weather or escape to find some!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Feb 032023
 

Having married a Brit, I have become more versed on the English culture and aware of the monarchy. Although I recall the news and interest by members of my family in the royal family when it came to Lady Diana, I have never really paid attention to it. Yet, I will never forget the day that Diana died in Paris as I sat watching in the living room of my Japanese host family. This was further punctuated in my memory when less than a week later, Mother Theresa also passed away. It felt somehow more meaningful than coincidental.

For no legitimate reason, as I know nothing about them nor should I care that much, but still, I have long disliked the new king and his mistress, now wife now queen consort. Perhaps, it is because of the fact he has had a mistress and no amount of explanation will ever make it OK in my book even if he is now happy and supposedly with the woman he always should have been with.

Still, I have consumed the entire Netflix series of The Crown. Often, we joke that I consider it a documentary – obviously I know it is not. I did further watch the actual docuseries of Harry & Meghan. As I type this, I’m just on the last minutes of Prince Harry’s book – Spare – on audio.

From all of it, I have found absolutely shocking that there has yet to be any serious recourse for the press who one could arguably say holds the sole responsibility for all of the problems from Diana on. Despite this, the general public continues to consume, believe, and demand more lies from the press. Even after hearing the truth from the actual persons involved, people keep permitting the press to dehumanize actual people who suffer actual consequences. For this, I am most disappointed in humanity.

What is most interesting whenever the discussion of Prince Harry and Meghan come up or the royal family in general is how entitled people feel to judge and point fingers at them or the family – myself included. It’s a bit like with any American celebrity, but magnified.

For me, I have come to conclude that people are people whether royal, peasant, famous, nobody, rich or poor. The press is filled with lies and half-truths, which I had come to understand during the whole of the pandemic period. Still, I continue to be disappointed in the masses. The lack of compassion, empathy or even an ounce of sympathy is mind-boggling. The need to be right, justified, or indignant is beyond fascinating to the point of disbelieving. Our personal egos have become so prominent and self-serving that all sight of what it means to be a fellow human being has become clouded.

While I know this does not apply to all, for I have met many who are exceptions, it still makes me shake my head.

After reading, watching, and hearing about the royals and ex-royals, I only applaud that H and M got out, have attempted to say their piece and are trying to walk a straight path. After all, that is really what any of us are trying to do – or so I hope.

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Feb 012023
 

Where does time go? I know it is such a cliche thing to say and yet we do all always mean it when we say it, right? I do not lament out of age, but out of my desire to always want to be doing more. I wonder where this sense of wanting to do more or needing to feel productive comes from. Is it a natural human need or is it particular to certain personality types?

In any case, that is a rather deep question to get into for the moment. Thus, I shall avert and evade for now.

January proved to be busy in the end. I spent some time in France and we ended the month/started this one with a visit from D, whom we haven’t seen since Christmas 2019. Plus, my workload saw more busy days than not with today being no different.

Yet, despite all that, I got quite a lot of writing projects completed. One paid article is off to press. Another article where I submit regularly went live. Both of these under my pseudonym. Then, I sent in a poetry submission. Plus, my first manuscript for a non-fiction book series has just been sent off to edits with a self-/hybrid publisher. My blogging has maintained consistency. As if that weren’t enough, I’ve added another writing space with my Substack, launching it today with an invitation for fellow writers/creatives to join me in getting into a schedule/routine as I also work in my monthly letters – probably mid-monthly. So, when I look back on all that, it’s no wonder that I have a sense of tension around me that I wasn’t able to put my finger on until I typed it all out.

On the plus side, my creative itch is fully satisfied. I am writing textbooks for an English language company explaining grammar – a love of mine. I am writing in numerous other places besides here on top of that, so I am rather excited for what this coming month will bring! Stay tuned!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Aug 092022
 

When the voices in my head are quiet, I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I am never clear as to whether or not it is “normal” to not have the whirlwind of thoughts spinning in my mind. I suppose my normal is not this, though it may be for others.

Lately, I have been more in consumption mode rather than output. It is one way for me to deal with the lack of time to myself, keeping to a routine, and general control of my own activities. So, as I have not shared what I have been reading since January, I shall share what I have consumed over the last six months.

Some of these titles I listened to on audio, some I read on my Kindle, and others I read in good old-fashioned paper. None of these titles caused me to struggle through them, which is impressive as I usually find one or two a challenge.

Of these, my favorite fiction read was Pachinko and I am looking forward to watching the series based on it. In terms of non-fiction, the most enjoyable was Will, which we listened to on a road trip before “the slap” occurred and gave us some insight as to how that situation came to be enacted.

So, while I am slow to write new content lately, I am definitely enjoying my reads. πŸ˜…

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Feb 242022
 

Since this year is my year of writing on my novel, M had suggested that I go on an “intentional” writing retreat somewhere, but the cost of them and the forced interaction with others did not appeal to me as I want to write according to my methods and in my way – real surprise, huh? πŸ˜›

So, instead I decided to schedule regular mini writing retreats away from home.

My first one was last week. I booked myself into a hotel near Rome Termini Station since the train from our town of Orvieto goes there in under 90 minutes and is cheap. Also, I figured that I could do some exploring of the city a bit as we mostly hit the touristy places whenever we visit.

First of all, I absolutely came to appreciate Rome in a completely different light. It reminded me so much of NYC, but with a deeper history and richer culture. However, there were still grungy, dirty parts that are characteristic to a big capital city. Also, I discovered that on the whole it is not that large of a city despite how it might seem. One can walk from one end to the other in about an hour.

In terms of writing, I managed to be very productive in and out of cafes during the days and in my hotel room from late afternoon on. I found an easy rhythm after the first day and the time went rather quickly.

Something surprising about my writing method is that it seems to be the only area in which I am rather loathe to plan! πŸ˜‰ Still, I have gone back to make a bit of an outline as per the methodology of a Book Writing group I have joined.

In any case, I got my characters created, storylines plotted, intersections and themes drafted. Plus, I got quite a few words written as I need to be sure to also write amidst my planning or I will get caught up in the organizing without growing the whole point of it all – the novel!

On top of the writing, I also discovered motivation to start a few other writing channels. A while back, I had created Substack and Medium accounts, which are new-ish platforms for writers and creatives. It’s sort of an upgraded version of tumbler, I guess but with a bit more method to the madness. For the most part, I had decided to just let them be for a while, but after a day of my mini retreat, I realized that there was a way I could use these platforms. I have chosen Medium over Substack for now (I can go into the reasons another time), and this has instigated a revamping of my writer Instagram and blog accounts. Those spaces will now be used to focus solely on my writing process with a running theme of finding and reviewing cafes to accomplish this in. I also hope to share a bit of my novel writing journey as a way of inspiring, supporting, and encouraging others to get whatever stories they may have in their heads out into the world.

So, I am intentionally not sharing the names of those accounts here. I imagine if you’ve been following me long enough or know me for some time, you’ll be able to figure it out. If you are still stumped, then feel free to shoot me an email or on social media somewhere to find out. πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€

Feb 212022
 

A consequence of the pandemic is a need for businesses to adjust their ways to gain the highest returns for recuperating their losses over the past few years. 

There are changes that will likely never go away such as using QR codes rather than spending money on printed menus that will eventually have to be updated. However, this forces everyone to use their mobile devices as soon as they sit down at a table. Upon first glance at such a place, you can see people not talking but instead scrolling on their phones. 

While some people will make their dining/drinking choices and put their phones down, many these days will continue to play with their phones to make a post on social media or chat with others who are not physically with them. The common misnomer of multitasking conversation virtually and in real life will likely be the normal activity one might see from now on. 

Despite this unavoidable social development, we have yet to see the use of laptops in a similar vein as a phone. The pulling out of a laptop at a restaurant or cafe suggests that one might be planning to overstay their welcome in a way that a constant use of a mobile phone might not. 

In fact, a large family can take up two tables and eat slowly while passing time on their phones for more than an hour eating only dessert and a few drinks, but one person cannot sit at a table with a laptop open even for a short time, despite possibly having a meal and multiple drinks. 

I find it a strange contradiction and mixed view of device-use these days. 

For the food and beverage industry, it seems that what should matter is how much one orders and spends rather than laying down arbitrary rules about what devices are allowed or not. Even implementing table time limits, like in Japan, would be more acceptable and fair to the customer – especially if there is a table charge, which in essence should allow the customer to use that space as they like since it is being paid for. I believe most people will happily respect a time limit, but it leaves a sour taste in one’s mouth when the venue dictates how a customer can use the table space because of a misconception of a laptop over a mobile phone.

This post comes out of a recent visit to a cafe in Rome where I had researched and read was an excellent place for remote workers to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee and also feel comfortable spending a little bit of time at. After walking about a half hour out of the main part of the city to find this place, I found the ambience to be as hoped and after an initial sitting down, ordering, and looking around I prepared to do a little bit of writing on my laptop.

At first, a server came up to me to say that I couldn’t really use my laptop at a table and that if I wanted to stay a while that I could sit in another section that faced a wall and was dark, plus another customer had already spread herself out there. Still, this first server said, I might be okay for a maximum of a half hour. A half hour was plenty of time for me to enjoy my cup of coffee, write a bit, and then move on. I had no issue with this time limit and set my watch for 20 minutes so that I wasn’t going over the allotted time.

Well, less than a minute later a different server came to me and more forcefully and less politely stated that I could not use my laptop AT ALL and instead, I had to move to the dark recess area if I wanted to use my device. At this point, I had only just received my coffee. I responded politely and put away my laptop. As I looked around, I noticed the large family next to me with only dessert plates and coffee cups at two tables. I saw another table where both people sitting were just staring at their phones. Another table where the coffee cups were empty, but the ladies continued to chat away. I looked outside to see plenty of empty tables where I considered asking if I could use with my laptop. However, the somewhat hostile air of the servers rubbed me wrong as they could have suggested this to me anyway.

In the end, I drank my cup of coffee quickly and got up to pay changing my plan to have a meal and more drinks. The cashier (maybe owner) asked “Was everything OK?” to which I mumbled “I guess.”

As I walked around the city pondering what happened and finding another place that didn’t seem to mind my laptop, I stewed. It wasn’t my fault and yet they made me feel as if it was. They must surely know that other websites are advertising – intentionally or not – that they are a cafe to visit for remote work and good coffee. As I brewed, I looked up Google maps reviews as no other sites would be as current, as I learned. Sure enough, there were a couple of other reviews with the very same disgruntled point. Thus, I decided to add my voice to this as they should know that people go out of their way to visit for the purpose of being able to sit and do some work, because being in Italy, there are a number of places where one can get a delicious cup of coffee.

Upon submitting my review, it wasn’t long before they replied in a rather unprofessional and rude way. I wish I had taken a screenshot of the original reply as they since edited it to be less aggressive in their response. It only made me laugh because their response only hurts them as a representation of their attitude toward customers not liking something.

Obviously, I understand that places like that need to make money. However, I also know that coffee has a rather high profit margin especially if they are roasting their own coffee and selling them. I also understand that they want to create a certain atmosphere that isn’t a remote working space. Again, there were so many empty tables outside that they could have offered that as a temporary option and still given me a time limit that I would have happily complied with in return for a customer-oriented solution.

Instead, they created someone who will actively make sure to not recommend them and find other places that are just as buzzing and delicious with their coffee options. I’m sure that they will have plenty of customers and I am just one person. Still, I hope that they will, at minimum, actually make it clear that it is not for remote workers despite what other websites have shared – and are responsible for getting people like me to visit in the first place – and reconsider how they treat people who are not aware of their non-laptop policy, but pro mobile phone one.

In this way, there won’t be any mixed signals and any negative repercussions for them and their customers can be avoided.

~T πŸ˜›

Feb 172022
 

This is going to be a bit of a rant and admittedly a contrary one, but not just for the sake of it. πŸ€ͺ

Most of the time, I loathe looking at social media for any holiday or “international/national day of ____” because it has become a space for people to schmooze and ooze over-the-top sentiments for the sake of it. However, those who post and then explicitly say that they “don’t celebrate/subscribe” to a celebratory day cause me to roll my eyes in irritation πŸ™„πŸ™„ and is the source of this rant 🀬.

What exactly is the point of going to all the effort in creating a post specifically and clearly targeting the day in question, but then also explicitly making a point of saying that one does not actually like to ‘celebrate’ that day? What is the intended purpose? Why is it even necessary to post then?

Of course, I scroll on by as there is no need for me to make a comment on their posts themselves, but my poor partner gets to hear me rant about it. πŸ₯°

The need to make a point that one is contrary serves no purpose to the reader, but instead is an extremely selfish act that puts out only negative energy – I understand that one could say the same about this post, but this is my blog and people have to actively choose to read these posts that I write as opposed to social media platforms that would require me to unfollow or block people whom I might not normally take issue with on non-celebration days. 😜

It just strikes me as extremely strange and counterproductive to be contrary for the sake of contrariness. I mean, wouldn’t it be better to not post anything at all? Or, are we meant to be ‘thankful’ or ‘inspired’ because one has gone beyond their norm to post a celebratory message that they have made a point of telling you they have done so? Should I comment with a “Happy ____ to you too” AND “Thanks so much for being a ‘better’ person because you posted when you didn’t want to or don’t appreciate the day that much!” ? ???? You can see my point, right?!

So, I shall end this rant here – please for the love of all that is good in the world, just post things that you want to post without trying to make the reader feel as if you’ve done them some favor by posting against your own desire to do so. I mean, after all, you have full control over posting or not. If you don’t post on some holiday, I honestly don’t think anyone is going to care or notice. To me, this is better than being made to feel as if the world owes you something for your post.

πŸŽ€πŸ–πŸ½ (mic drop) ~T out! πŸ˜€

Feb 142022
 

When I was young, I used to follow the North πŸ‡°πŸ‡΅ and South Korea πŸ‡°πŸ‡·unification news quite diligently. In fact, I would cut out newspaper clippings πŸ“° reporting on their relationship and the ongoing hope of the Korean people that they would become one nation again.

One time, my dad asked me what interested me so much about the unification and I remember feeling that it was a weird question. Despite being a naturalized American πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ citizen, my motherland is Korea. Therefore, in my mind, I am Korean and so naturally I would/should be interested in the potential reuniting of my birth country. Yet, looking back, I realize it can be considered a rather strange way of thinking given the fact that I have no recollection of being in Korea and my whole world, especially at that time, was white America.

Either in the same conversation or perhaps later, I remember telling my very proud-to-be, military-serving American father that if I had to choose between fighting in a war for America or for Korea, I would choose Korea. The silent response that ensued was more memorable than any verbal response or continuation of the conversation. Again, I wonder at my conviction and gall in making such a bold statement as this. Funnily enough, I think I would still say the same today and yet I cannot rationally explain why.

There has been a bit of conversation and backlash towards Eileen Gu, an American-born half-Chinese, half-American (assuming white) Olympic freestyle skier who chose to ski for China rather than the United States in the Beijing Olympics β›· 2022. Some criticisms of her choosing to represent China is that she was born in America and is only half-Chinese, so why would she choose to represent a country where she has never lived and knows very little about outside of her mother and grandmother. One rebuttal to this, in the Korean adoptee community, is that it would the same as any of us adoptees choosing to represent the US rather than Korea, even though we had been born there.

While that rebuttal doesn’t completely work given that we generally identify with being American and know the culture more than our Korean roots, it is an interesting discussion and one that I think somehow parallels my own statement of choosing to fight for Korea over the US.

Why is one’s birthplace used to define us one way or the other?

Is it being disloyal to my family and countrymen by citizenship if I say I would choose to fight against them for a country that I really know nothing about?

What elements contribute to our choices?

I can understand if one answers ‘yes’ to the second question as I struggle myself with that. Perhaps this is also why I do not nor ever really want to live in the US or Korea. I find it much safer and more comfortable to live in a third country where no requirement or question of loyalty must ever be faced as I – and the locals – acknowledge and accept that I am an outsider, foreigner, independent.

So, in the context of Eileen Gu, I have no judgement. I can see both sides of the argument. At the end of the day, I support any decision that is best for the individual. In terms of the Olympics, well, I support athletes doing their best in an international competition no matter where the medal πŸ…count applies. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

~T πŸ˜€

error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)