Mar 012023
 

Well, if you don’t follow me on social media, then you’ve missed the exciting news of me dislocating my ankle and breaking the leg bones surrounding the area. πŸ€ͺ

It’s been 9 days now since it happened on a walk with the pups, who decided to take me with them on a scent-run. Only problem was that my legs could not keep up and apparently, my ankle was not in the flexible mood. 😬 So, after a few screams and choice words breathing through the pain, I managed to crawl to a signal with my phone to call a nearby friend and M in the UK who called the previous owner (L) of our house because he lives closer. With the help of L, I got an ambulance and taken to the ER at Orvieto Hospital.

Unfortunately, or fortunately πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ, the orthopedic ward was closed due to C19, so I had to be transferred to another hospital, which was in Spoleto – almost 2 hours away. Before being transferred, they popped my ankle back in place – ouch! – and put on a temporary cast. I was told I was definitely going to need surgery. The fall happened just before 5pm, I arrived in Spoleto at 11pm with the belief that I would undergo surgery quickly.

Three days later, I had had no surgery, gotten a new cast that required a painful further adjustment of the ankle, been fed some interesting food, and no clear idea of what was happening. The doctor aggressively questioned me about where I wanted to have surgery – as if I should know that when I didn’t even know why it hadn’t happened yet!

In the end, we clarified that surgery had to wait and so I could get it done in Orvieto with a stay at home in the meantime. Happily, we checked out of there!

While on the road, I was informed that I should check into Orvieto the next morning for scheduled surgery on Tuesday.

However, the owner of the yoga studio I have been attending is an orthopedic physiotherapist and recommended a private clinic in Rome. She said I would get decent care through Orvieto, but the follow up care would be more challenging that I could avoid through the private clinic. So, luckily, I was able to speak with the doctor in Rome before we went to the hospital in the morning and decided to go with the private option instead. That was Saturday.

On Sunday, I checked in and here I am still as I write this post. The quality of care if excellent as I sit in my private room, have a small team of nurses, regular visits from the doctor(s) to check the status of my ankle – still no operation as swelling must be at a low before they feel it is optimal -, regular options of my menu, and that always desired yet never fully appreciated element of time.

My view these days…

So far, I have been keeping myself busy enough, though my positivity waxes and wanes more than at the start. Two weeks in hospital with another likely ahead does not make a happy and content me, but nothing else is to be done.

Instead, we now focus on new plans since most of what we had organized has changed. Even after surgery, I will be bed/sofa-bound for at least a month and then many more months of physiotherapy, etc. before it will be back to “normal”. So, it is one day at a time and literally, step-by-step.

Funny how life can change in a single moment, but alas that is for another post. Here’s to the new month and new plans ahead!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 312022
 

I bet you’re wondering where I’m going with this after writing a bit of a ranty post a while back on etiquette?

This pop socket is on my phone and I love what it represents. Yep, let me explain….

I still standby the need for basic etiquette like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. However, I do not standby political correctness nor the bubble-wrapping of words to avoid hurting people’s oversensitive feelings in today’s world. Words like ‘triggered’, ‘cancel culture’, ‘woke’, and ‘toxicity’ are words that I find to be inappropriately applied to avoid owning how we think and feel about the world to the point that now we are no longer allowed to express our true opinions to one another.

M and I were discussing the recent Oscar event and the presumed source of Mr. Smith’s actions. I’m not going to comment on my opinion about it, but we were talking about how M feels that Mrs. Smith seems to have a ‘toxic’ hold over him; thus, causing him to react as he did. I called BS on that.

First, we know absolutely NOTHING about these people in their true forms in real life. We learn snippets from interviews or the persona that they present to the world. I listened to a number of JPS’s Red Table Talk on Facebook Watch. This is ALL I know for sure. Therefore, it is definitely based on speculation on her possible personality that I (and M) make my comments.

With that disclaimer out of the way, I believe that JPS is a private person and is probably an introvert as well. M states that because she is in the public eye, she cannot be either of those things. I wholeheartedly disagree. He further claims that one should always express their opinions; otherwise, silence is consent. Another BS hand raised!

Now, for my side – it is my blog space, after all! 😜

I choose not to argue with others about my disagreement of their opinion – most of the time. This does not mean that I don’t have my own strong opinions. Anyone who has ever actually stopped to listen to me will realize that I have lots of opinions and they are just as strong as one who shares them all the time. However, I do not feel it worth my time nor energy to try to override others who want to make sure that everyone knows their opinion without bothering to stop and listen to an opposing one.

Furthermore, when I do express an opinion and bother to engage in a “discussion”, I expect to be heard. M referred to my idea of this as me giving a monologue rather than discussing. He might be right on that, BUT, I argue that if I am not allowed to give a monologue, then I am not heard. I prefer to write to express myself because the reader must focus on what I have to say and cannot interrupt me! 😁 As someone with a quiet voice, slow to process the words I want to articulate, and not prone to argument for arguments sake, this is a key element to having a “discussion” with me.

Lastly, if I do argue back, it is not meant to be taken as a dismissal of an opposing opinion. Rather, it is an activity in trying to push my theory/belief in full to find the flaws and holes in it so that I can then go back and reprocess, redefine, and refine what I believe based on new information and input. Arguing does not have to result in a fight. Instead, the old art form of debating is how I see my way of dialoging with the world.

So, in doing discussion and opinion forming in my way, I need to maintain the mantra of F*CK Politeness, because being polite suggests that I agree or that I consent to something which may not actually be the case. Still, know that I will always maintain my ‘please’ and ‘thank you’s’!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 292022
 

Oh the sniffing, the sneezing!
Thankfully, I’m not yet wheezing.

It’s that time of year
when being outside causes fear.

How long can I last
before the final pollen is cast?

I try to stay upbeat
never wanting to admit defeat.

But, alas, I cannot keep up the fight
as my puffy eyes decrease my sight.

I cannot pretend anymore it is funny
that my nose is always runny.

So, it’s back inside I go
losing again to nature – my greatest foe!

😜

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 232022
 

Yesterday, I participated in an interview for someone doing research on the adoptee diaspora and was struck by a few thoughts stimulated by her questions. One of them is around my concept of ‘home’, which is a recurring question in my mind.

Coincidentally, or not, I had just been talking to my brother for an hour before this interview. It’s the second time this year and already twice as many times as previous years have been in keeping up with him.

My brother and I are very very different people. Still, I love him. I accept him for who he is, and I know that I have not always been the best sister to him over the years as I often focus on my own perspective and experiences in the world. However, as we both age, I recognize how short life is and that he is my family forever, which is important to me. So, this year, I have decided to make more of an effort to catch up with him, but it is, admittedly, a work in progress for me.

Therefore, when I was asked how I define ‘home’ 🏠, I paused.

Home is not a place for me. As in, I rarely refer to Oregon as my home. I do not identify with the State or region much. In fact, I would say that I try not to define myself as a Pacific Northwesterner since I despise the rainy β˜”οΈ, cold πŸ₯Ά, and grey ☁️ weather that it is the trademark of the area. Also, as I find myself having lived longer outside of the US than I have in it, I even wonder at calling myself ‘American’ πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. Further than that, I am also definitely not ‘Korean’ πŸ‡°πŸ‡· other than the make up of my DNA. So, while I claim American citizenship and Korean heritage, they are not home either.

Ultimately, my cynical self cringes at this but, “home is where the heart is”.

My home is where my parents and my family are. πŸ’› My home is where my husband is. ❀️ My home is where my friends are. πŸ’œ My home is where I have given pieces of my heart. πŸ’› ❀️ πŸ’œ

I used to say that ‘home is where my stuff is’, but the softening of my protected heart has led me to admit that it really is where I have a connection to the people in it. Perhaps this is why I have never really had an attachment to a house or space that I live in or that I feel comfortable traveling around the world.

Still, when we got married, M and I agreed that we were ready to have a ‘home base’ where we could return to together while maintaining our lifestyle exploring new places together. So, our home 🏑 is currently in Italy, but I will, hopefully, be visiting my home soon this summer to see my family and friends in Oregon.

Maybe instead of thinking that “the world is my oyster”, I can rebrand it as “the world is my home”! 😜

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 212022
 

I love to travel. It seems like an obvious thing to say as an expat, but there are expats who live abroad and see the world and there are expats who live abroad as they would in their home countries. I am of the former.Β 

Despite this love of travel, I detest the process of getting from destination to destination, especially by air. Even before C19 forced a return to isolationist practices and more careful attention to cleanliness, I was not a fan of the security checks, lines for boarding, and sharing of seat or public ‘germy’ 🦠 spaces.Β 

After having been off flying for about a year and a half, I took my first flight last month on a short visit to Malta πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή. Even after a hiatus, my habit of falling asleep before the plane had even taken off was fully in form. It has been a laughed about trait of mine, as a family tale that most have been impressed with – an enviable gift to be able to quickly fall asleep on any moving form of transportation.Β 

Yet, as age sets in and I become more mindful of the impact of my surroundings and past experiences on my psyche, I think I have discovered why my mind and body reboots. 

Ever since reading Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, I have proudly accepted and worn the badge with raised hands – I am an introvert; almost to an extreme. Also, I have accepted that I am greatly impacted by others’ energies, seeing auras in shades of light. Therefore, thrusting me into a small space where sounds abound and strange energies swarm causes an input overload for me. Thus, I feel the need to fall asleep. It’s as if my brain says β€œnope, cannot process, rebooting now!” 

As a test of this, on our recent flight ✈️ from The Netherlands πŸ‡³πŸ‡±, I put on my AirPods with noise cancellation mode on and magically, I didn’t feel the need to sleep as the plane started taxing on the runway. The blocking out of sounds and keeping my eyes averted from the energies around me prevented the usual overload so that I did not feel an urge to shutdown.Β 

While I still enjoy a good nap on a plane or being able to catch a few z’s 😴 during travel, I am also feeling more prepared to re-enter the world as it starts to return to a new sense of normal armed with newly acknowledged tricks up my sleeve to be able to interact again with hopefully a bit less stress and anxiety about being amongst others. 😜

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 172022
 

I have just written my second attempt to request information from my first adoptive father. This time, I hand-wrote a letter to send in the regular post. I tried an email address that I found online since post is a bit delayed and sporadic these days; however, after no response and no idea if it is even the right email address, I thought I would go old-school.

Let me provide an update on how this has come about:

Thanks to TUA, I came across someone who offered to look at my Korean paperwork after I told her my story. In her review of them, she found that it seemed I had a somewhat private adoption and that my first adoptive family had been in Korea at the time of my adoption. Initially, it seemed that my first-adoptive-father (FAF) worked for or with the embassy, but recent information suggests that was not actually the case. Anyway, what is clear is that FAF was in-country for some of the official procedures as he is noted on papers relinquishing me from my birth mother directly to him rather than an orphanage or foster home.

This revelation put my mom’s researching/stalking skills into motion in tracking down FAF and others in the family.

As my mom has got major skillz, it didn’t take long for her to reach out to a few people in the original family and to confirm that she had found the right persons-in-question. After a conversation, she asked that FAF reach out to answer my questions on the process of preparing me for immigration to the US and if he did actually have contact with my B-mother.

While it seems that there was some family drama and struggles in the period of time that I was in the family, I do not care as I have little-to-no memories of my time with them. I realize it is probably harsh to say that “I do not care”, but it is the truth. How can I care about people or a time that I cannot remember?

Still, as much as I try to remain unemotional or detached from the situation, I have to admit that I find myself fighting a sensation of irritation and possibly anger. It is not anger for the fact that they brought me to the US nor that they relinquished me back into a system that temporarily did not treat me well. It is not even anger for a promise that was not kept.

It is anger, frustration, irritation that once again they/he is choosing to be selfish at my expense. He has answers that would make my search easier or possibly lead me on the right path toward discovering my origins. In a way, I feel that it is the least that he can do to make up for the consequences of his actions that I was required to experience. I feel that he should be mature enough and man enough to get over his own emotions or issues surrounding what happened to simply provide me with the facts that he knows and can share.

At the same time, I struggle with a niggling feeling of guilt that I should feel entitled, frustrated/angry, or even the desire to pursue such answers. Often, I question what are my intentions or desired outcomes with my search. I mean, I don’t necessarily want a familial relationship with anyone I find connected by DNA. I also do not feel there is a piece of me missing or empty that I am trying to fill in. So, then it is fair to ask, ‘what is it all for?’.

Honestly, I do not know.

Part of it is curiosity. I love a good mystery story. Part of it is for the story. I’m writing my book after all and always need more sources of storyline. Part of it is purely selfish. I just want to know. Part of it is just natural. Doesn’t every person want to or deserve the right to know where they came from?

So, while I truly and honestly believe that it is not about defining me or finding myself, I acknowledge that the answer to the WHY is complex and a rainbow of colored reasons – possibly with some yet to surface.

In any case, I have warned him that the email and my letter are not the last he will hear of me now that the search is on. It is not a threat so much as a promise that I will not so easily be removed, forgotten, or pushed aside this time….

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 152022
 

When I first arrived in Abu Dhabi, I made friends with some fellow Couchsurfing hosts who are also Asians of Western culture, which at the time was a rare meeting. We stayed friends over the years with a few visits back and forth after they moved on. Our last visit, though, was around ten years ago.

So, when we moved to Europe, I connected with S & Q again.

Finally, after a few planning delays, we were able to make a visit to their home in Haarlem (the original inspiration of NYC’s) and visit Q’s homeland.

We did a lot of walking since my agility on two-wheels is not to be tested for the sake of health and safety. πŸ˜› Overall, I really liked it, but I didn’t love it. One thing that struck me, and I should probably do some research about it, was the fact that much of the architecture seemed very modern. I appreciated the fact that old churches had been renovated to apartments or pubs, but the buildings were mostly contemporary in lot of spaces. This made the place/country feel a little bit sterile or lacking in culture, which is definitely not the case. However, aside from a lot of art museums – which in another phase of my life would have been a massive draw – there wasn’t a lot to show for a country that expanded around the globe, but now only remains on a small land mass.

Anyway, to save on the loading time, here are pics to what I managed to capture of The Hague, Delft, Amsterdam and Haarlem.

I would like to go back when the tulip festival is on (later in March) and to see a few more windmills. So, perhaps another visit will be made in the future!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 102022
 

Before emails, we had typewriters and regular post for staying in touch or conducting business. Before texts, we had telephones requiring a voice conversation. Before social media, we had to face people directly to express ourselves.

While I fully appreciate and take advantage of our modern-day advances, there are some ‘rules of engagement’ that I continue to hold basic to any type of communication. (In fact, this isn’t the first time I’ve written along a similar vein.)

These are: writing greetings and closings in any type of message, and saying both ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – even if I don’t necessarily mean them or even deem the receiver worthy of the words.

I’ve tried to explain away the lack of following such rules to: generational differences, issues related to certain demographics, or even possibly upbringing. However, after a few conversations with others, who do not lack an understanding of the rules, and a bit of stalking on whether persons-in-question do follow them in other circumstances, these explanations that I have tried to apply do not seem to fit.

Therefore, the only remaining reasons for such poor behavior are disrespect and a sense of entitlement.

Although my father, in his 70-plus years of wisdom, tried to tell me that I cannot change people and that I just have to learn to accept that some people are rude, I have to half disagree. Throughout my life, I have already accepted and believe that people are rude arseholes – that is an easy one to get over. The other is not, as I do not believe that I cannot contribute to changing people. People cannot change if they do not know that they need to. Even if they rebuke my attempt at informing them of another concept of ‘common courtesy’, I still feel that I can feel satisfied that I have done my part to raise awareness and hope for a future growth into a better person.

Still, in doing so, my level of frustration increases and a tense airs hangs about me as I come to terms with my disappointment in humanity. It is strange how the shortest phrases and simplest of words can somehow become the most difficult for people to express.

I’ve started to wonder what sort of energy I am putting out that people feel that they don’t need to be polite to me or follow certain forms of etiquette – especially when they don’t know me and are younger than I. It is very plausible that I have something to learn from these situations – whether it is to accept and move on, stop trying to correct, or learn to ignore it. At the moment, I’m not yet sure what it is, but I trust in the fact that over time my learning will be revealed or my conviction will be vindicated.

Either way, I do hope that society will not start accepting that professional interactions do not need to include greetings and closings nor that ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are an unnecessary part of ensuring the building of relationships.

Dear Members of Society,

Please use a certain level of etiquette when interacting with fellow members of the world.

Thank you!

Yours truly,

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 012022
 

March is here already and I’ve spent the last couple of days focusing solely on the platform to get everything in line for the month. I’m not complaining, by any means, as I know that putting in the time now frees up my time later.

Still, I find myself less enthusiastic about the platform as it is taking time away from my writing.

How crazy am I? I mean, I have built up something rather significant and it continues to grow. The team, who helps to make it run, are absolutely essential and I’m so thrilled to work with them. Truly!

Yet, I find myself losing my own enthusiasm for some reason. I’ve actually been feeling this way for a few months…. No doubt it is just a temporary slump that I’ll get out of, but I am appreciating more when someone told me that if we can make it work past the two-year mark then there is hope. So, I’m hanging on and focusing on the basics in hopes of being able to make space for more writing time and also for the platform’s growth. We need it to generate income. Therefore, I have been putting it out to the Universe to send us investors/buyers who also see the potential and will allow for the team to be full-time with expansion beyond as a fully functioning organization! There – Universe, do your magic!!!

In other news, we are preparing to go for a long weekend – nearly a week – trip to The Netherlands. I have been making plans to go for a while now as some good friends of mine live there and we haven’t seen each other in probably nearly ten years! What?! Although I had initially planned to go on my own, M happily decided to join. I mean, I do love a “solo” holiday, but I also like traveling with my man. However, this means that there are extra considerations in the planning stages. Not to worry, though, it’s all under control and we are off soon!

With that, I’ll keep this relatively short as I’ve still got tasks on my to-do list! Stay tuned for pics and thoughts on our trip. πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 232020
 

Unless you’ve been under a rock or blissfully enjoying a Luddite world, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this, you will be aware of the global crisis known as COVID-19 or the Coronavirus.

Now, I’m not a prepper, panicker, conformist, or doomsday believer. In fact, in a state of emergency I have always said that I will be found as far away from the masses as possible because it’s people we have to worry about.

This is no different and, in fact, requires isolation and distance from others.

In many ways, this pandemic has numerous positives.

First, an introverts dream is to be considered ‘normal’ for hiding away from others. For most of the world, this is being required! I mean, “OH, I can’t go out and I can’t attend any social functions? Gee, that’s a real shame!” NOT! πŸ˜‚- more like HAPPY DANCE! 🍾🀣

Second, if we have a massive population decrease, the Earth will surely be able to deeply sigh in relief from the burden of overpopulation. Sure, the loss of loved ones old, young, ill, healthy, etc. is sad and all that, but c’mon, can we really begrudge nature’s attempt to balance out the scales? I surely do not. πŸ’ͺ🏽

Also, for the first time in ages, people are actually spending time with their children away from the TV and devices. More parents are talking about playing with their kids and families seem to be interacting with each other. OMG, what is that?! 😝

It’s also a great time to start any online businesses or promote technology in a positive way – i.e. online learning, remote working, etc. Stay tuned for my own activity in this area. πŸ˜‰

There are obviously a number of downsides for those who are in serious ‘lockdown’. Being confined and forced to limit any usual activity is no picnic. Imprisonment is used as a form of punishment for a reason, after all.

Without focusing on the negatives too much or celebrating the joys of self-isolation and social distancing, I am interested in the panic mechanism.

Now, I get ALL of my news from limited sources: in person from people around me, Facebook, The Daily podcast (NY Times), and once in the morning from Google’s morning information as I get ready. On rare occasions, I might open a news app or watch the news. Usually, this happens passively – I see it on someone else’s device, on the train, etc. Therefore, if I actually self-isolated, I would be forced to get my news from mass media.

It’s no wonder then that people panic. In Japan, almost everyone has Japanese TV on when at home. People read newspapers and stay well connected to mass media via Line (like WhatsApp) or to some extent Facebook. Therefore, if there are reports that toilet paper 🧻 supply might run out, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) sprints out to grab as much toilet paper as they can. The “Great TP Scare of 2020” will go down in history and Japanese people will have the cleanest bums for years to come!

However, looking at images from around the world, we see that this panic has spread – irrationally! It’s not just that countries are unprepared to cope with a health crisis, it’s also that people are unprepared to cope with any crisis.

My father is a prepper and always has been. I never thought it odd to have a freezer full of meat until people began to tease me about it. I never thought it odd to make enough food in a meal for days of leftovers until I met others who somehow just made enough food for one meal. How is that a thing?! So, my cupboards are always full. Even if I have limited space, I will make room for cans of beans or rice or whatever can be used over a long period of time. It never occurred to me that it was a prepping behavior. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

As things seem to worsen around the world, the opposite seems to be happening in Japan. It never really shutdown when things got ‘serious’ in February. Schools were let out early as it was the end of the academic year anyway, and there was an increase in encouraging remote work for many companies. However, overall, it’s a little as if we are in a bubble of either denial or amazing immunity.

In any case, my theory is that there is no need to panic. I am not sure if Japan has it right or not, but staying away from Western news helps. My question for those who are panicking is: Do you actually know anyone who has the virus? If so, how ill are they and have they died? If not… chill the F*&k out, then!!! πŸ˜‰

Anyway, stay healthy out there and if you don’t like people anyway – like me – then enjoy this crazy time to the fullest!!! πŸ’πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸ˜‡πŸ˜

~T πŸ˜€

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