Jan 292024
 

Don’t let the cute image fool you. It was a weekend of labor and not necessarily a labor of love.

Part of our nesting activities has been planning what kind of wardrobe situation would work best for us as our current one is included in the ensuite bathroom. Since we are planning on remodeling the bathroom to a more open and spa-like relaxing space, we had to figure out alternative options for the clothes.

We considered knocking down a wall and creating a full walk-in wardrobe out of one of the bedrooms, which I am using as my office. However, that seemed a bit much given I don’t want to live nor lounge in the wardrobe. We also looked at building a walk-in version within our bedroom since we have the space, but after laying out the measurements it became clear that it would crowd the bedroom which is not what we wanted.

So, in the end, we went with a personalized IKEA project where we could design all the insides to our/my heart’s desire and make use of the wall space without sacrificing the room space.

We also agreed that we would pay someone(s) to put it all together. Instead of hiring through the IKEA service, we offered the task to a friend – paid, of course…. Now, let me say that what I am about to rant about is not 100% the fault of this person since it is indeed a complicated project that requires knowledge of the design and understanding that IKEA has this business of building things down to a science; therefore, one must know to trust the process/system. Still, the moral of this story is to not mix friendship with business of any kind – even if one thinks “It’s just IKEA.”

The pieces were delivered the week before last with the exception of some of the internal pieces. The construction started on Monday last week. I cannot upload videos for some reason here, but by Thursday midday of last week, only the outside pieces were finished (like the first image below). One or two bars were in place, but that was it. The explanation given for the lack of further progress was that not more could be done without the remaining internal pieces that we had planned to pick up on Friday. I called B.S. 😣

It surely does not take 3.5 days to put together 9 “boxes” and three bars. The doors were not on. The inserts were not in. The wardrobes were stuck into the wall for no reason as that is the last thing that should be done. The “boxes” were mostly attached to each other, but again did not yet need to be done especially since we discovered that they were pieced together incorrectly in the corner which required us to take apart all the attachments to fix it.

Over the weekend in less than eight combined hours, M and I managed to do more than what was done over three days of five hours per day and probably two hours the last day. That’s crap 😑 – sorry, but not sorry.

Again, it did help to know what everything should look like even though I also still needed to consult the IKEA design page, but ultimately I realized: 1. Just because one is paid to do a job does not mean that they care about doing a good job. 2. Hiring friends to work for you leaves room for too much leniency when it comes to professionalism. 3. There is a reason for the addage “If you want a job done right, do it yourself.” and 4. It takes a certain mindset to get over your own ego and accept that if there are extra pieces or something doesn’t fit, it isn’t because the producer messed up in their parts or instructions – it’s actually YOU.

Furthermore, I discovered that personality traits are extracted in full when it comes to these kinds of projects. Some people are impatient, throw tantrums, and yell at everything or everyone creating a heightened sense of stress. Other people remain calm, put their heads down to fix a problem if it arises and moves on to the next piece in peace. I’ll let you, reader, figure out whose personalities fit with which description here. πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ˜…

So, we had a busy and bumpy weekend emotionally, but it is getting there. Ultimately, I remind myself that there is no real rush, these kinds of things are insignificant in the grand scheme of life and relationships, and there is always something to learn from experiences like this. Thus, I take it as a chance to grow within myself and adjust for the future. 😜❀️

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Jan 082024
 

Home after about 26 hours of travel door to door. No complaints here – it was just a long day.

It’s good to be home with the animals and our things. Now, it’s all about catching up on laundry, reorganizing after having house/petsitters, and settling back into the routine.

Anyway, got some things brewing that I will attempt to organize into comprehensible words and thoughts once I have a couple more days to catch up on things.

With that – until next time!

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Nov 102022
 

Every now and then, I return to previous thoughts. This one is one of them, but perhaps from a different perspective point.

There is a line in one of my favorite movies that I often consider relatable on many levels to my own way of thinking and place in this world.Β 

Jo says β€œI love our home, but I’m just so fitful and I can’t stand being here! … There’s just something really wrong with me.”

Her wise mother replies with β€œOh, Jo. Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life? You’re ready to go out and – and find a good use for your talent. Tho’ I don’t know what I shall do without my Jo. Go, and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things come of it.”

I feel as if this exchange of feelings gave me permission to embrace the life path that I have chosen. 

As I am on the way home again after five years of complete absence due to C19 and moving countries. Strangely enough I still call the place of my family as β€œhome”. I also call the house with my partner as home.Β 

Still, even with both, I often find myself with that sentiment of not fully wanting/needing to be there.Β 

So I am both excited and curious as to how I will feel being back in the US of A. A place that has been the source of news, drama, division, and derision around the world over the past few years. Yet, like anywhere, when on the ground and in the life everything else seems distant and over-hyped. 

Mostly, I hope that I have made the most of my liberty though I’m not yet sure I’ve found a use – or even identified – my talent(s), but I most definitely am embracing the journey. 

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Mar 232022
 

Yesterday, I participated in an interview for someone doing research on the adoptee diaspora and was struck by a few thoughts stimulated by her questions. One of them is around my concept of ‘home’, which is a recurring question in my mind.

Coincidentally, or not, I had just been talking to my brother for an hour before this interview. It’s the second time this year and already twice as many times as previous years have been in keeping up with him.

My brother and I are very very different people. Still, I love him. I accept him for who he is, and I know that I have not always been the best sister to him over the years as I often focus on my own perspective and experiences in the world. However, as we both age, I recognize how short life is and that he is my family forever, which is important to me. So, this year, I have decided to make more of an effort to catch up with him, but it is, admittedly, a work in progress for me.

Therefore, when I was asked how I define ‘home’ 🏠, I paused.

Home is not a place for me. As in, I rarely refer to Oregon as my home. I do not identify with the State or region much. In fact, I would say that I try not to define myself as a Pacific Northwesterner since I despise the rainy β˜”οΈ, cold πŸ₯Ά, and grey ☁️ weather that it is the trademark of the area. Also, as I find myself having lived longer outside of the US than I have in it, I even wonder at calling myself ‘American’ πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. Further than that, I am also definitely not ‘Korean’ πŸ‡°πŸ‡· other than the make up of my DNA. So, while I claim American citizenship and Korean heritage, they are not home either.

Ultimately, my cynical self cringes at this but, “home is where the heart is”.

My home is where my parents and my family are. πŸ’› My home is where my husband is. ❀️ My home is where my friends are. πŸ’œ My home is where I have given pieces of my heart. πŸ’› ❀️ πŸ’œ

I used to say that ‘home is where my stuff is’, but the softening of my protected heart has led me to admit that it really is where I have a connection to the people in it. Perhaps this is why I have never really had an attachment to a house or space that I live in or that I feel comfortable traveling around the world.

Still, when we got married, M and I agreed that we were ready to have a ‘home base’ where we could return to together while maintaining our lifestyle exploring new places together. So, our home 🏑 is currently in Italy, but I will, hopefully, be visiting my home soon this summer to see my family and friends in Oregon.

Maybe instead of thinking that “the world is my oyster”, I can rebrand it as “the world is my home”! 😜

~T πŸ”₯πŸ‰β™‹οΈ

Nov 102021
 

With our settling in to the new “forever” home, I have been having some internal struggles.

A home represents who one is both as individuals and as the whole unit of those who live in the shared space. Therefore, expressing my own style while combining that of M’s has challenges. To be fair, we do not drastically differ; and for the most part we are in agreement with the general ideal look of each room.

One major challenge is that our few belongings are still waiting to find space on a ship from Japan to Italy. Therefore, we cannot completely nest into the space because we do not want to completely duplicate or clash with what we already have. So, there’s a balancing act of being patient and also trying to fill the massive space that we want to leave our mark in.

However, there are two matters with which I am, particularly, struggling.

First, in our attempt to furnish the house, I am finding that I do not exactly like the Italian-style πŸ˜› , and yet do not want to look like an Ikea showroom, even though I do like most of their products. So, I am considering how I can possibly paint or personalize pieces that we need (we have very few large pieces of furniture coming in our shipment). What I have to constantly remind myself is that this is our space for the foreseeable future, so there is no rush. Patience must be applied. πŸ˜›

The bigger issue that I am facing is accepting this is a long-term abode.

My first eight years of life had me moving around creating a sense of normal out of being somewhat nomadic. Despite being fairly stable in my family home from eight to 18, when I left for college, I always knew that I would not have a conventional life living nearby in a suburb or fulfilling my father’s dream of family dinners every Sunday.

While being an English language educator was not my dream profession, it did afford me the kind of lifestyle that I wanted. In my adult life, I have moved to a new living space every three or four years, even if I stayed in one country for lengthy periods of time.

By moving frequently, I was able to justify why I never nested. Many of my expat friends would be sure to put up pictures on the walls or do various small things to mark their new space as theirs. This was never me. It felt too permanent, too attached, too settled – too scary.

When M and I moved to Japan, we decided to break the cycle.

So, in our house, we half-heartedly put up pictures on the walls with thumbtacks. We never used anything that would make it feel permanent. Of course, we knew that we weren’t going to stay there for more than a few years; we always had a foot out of the door, so to speak. Still, we were temporarily content with our efforts. I felt that I was starting to take a step toward adulthood, stability and creating a ‘home’.

The past year has returned us to a very nomadic way of life as we moved about six times within a year trying to determine where we were going to put away our suitcases.

In that time, I found that I was ready for a more permanent space. However, I did make M promise that this didn’t mean that we were going to never travel again nor that we would stop having adventures together. He has promised and I’m holding him to it.

Still, at the moment, neither of us are overly eager to leave the space. There is a brightness to it. The energy vibrates with positivity and love. So, we both soak it up everyday. M went to Milan for a few days last week and said that he missed the house and land. I have yet to leave it for very long, but imagine I will feel similarly when I do. But, I have no problem with missing the space knowing that I can come back to it.

Although I always knew that I could go home to my family (and still can), it’s never felt like my space. Rather, I tend to feel like a visitor and focus on spending time with the people I cherish rather than reconnecting with the space itself. Part of that is probably because my parents must have a shared spirit in that they are on their fourth house since I left home 20-some years ago. πŸ˜‰

So, all this is to say that I am enjoying the nesting process, but am working through some inner challenges in defining what is our home’s style and accepting this is our launching pad for, well in our minds right now, forever.

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 102021
 

Well, we moved to Europe just under a year ago (14th is one year!) with a plan to settle in France. We didn’t quite follow our original plan as M thought it would be a good idea for me to see the eastern part of the country before we decided to buy and settle closer to Spain and the Atlantic, but still on the Mediterranean coastline.

Any thoughts of moving that direction were soon foiled when I started to make friends with whom I connected quickly, which is most definitely not something I usually do. Still, we did explore areas and even drove cross country just to give it another viewing. However, we are fairly easily pleased by location as we don’t have a lot of specific requirements other than to be somewhat close to the sea, not be living with neighbors too close to us, and close enough to a town to get the things that we need, but enjoy visiting for a cafe or meal out.

Then, came the Italian idea. I have yet to complete my posts on the Europe Phase II saga, but – SPOILER ALERT – we have found our dream house!

Although this shall now be a bit out of order in events/process, I wanted to share where we are now. The details on how it all came to be will come in a more focused post on that, but for now, here are some pics and a brief description of our new abode.

Description

Located in the province of Umbria, near a town called Orvieto, we are renting-to-buy (over five months) a country farm house originally built around ruins from 1200 A.D. The house size is about 350 sqm (sorry Americans, I don’t know the conversion offhand, but it’s BIG). There are seven rooms to use as bedrooms, office space, TV lounge, etc. There is an open plan living and dining room with an entry area. The kitchen is open on the ground floor connecting to the open plan space. Upstairs are four of the rooms with two bathrooms and one ensuite bathroom and walk-in closet area. The surrounding land totals 10 hectares (approx. 25 acres) of which probably two acres is manicured with a pool. The rest of the land has olive trees, fruit trees, and open fields at the moment for us to decide what to do with it.

Just a few pics of our new estate

Visitors are already making plans to see us and we hope to have many more as our doors are always open!!!

Benvenuto a casa nostra – Welcome to our home!

~T πŸ˜€

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