I think of myself as an old-soul. Emotions have never been on the surface for me; thus, the expression of them has always been tame. I greatly dislike a show of emotions to the point that I will cry from frustration at feeling so angry at something or someone, but don’t want to express it. I rarely cry at all unless it is in Sex in the City when Big doesn’t get out of the car or a flash mob or standing ovation that expresses moments of unity among people. Otherwise, even the sappiest of romance films can leave me dry-eyed. I do not like comedies for the expected outbursts of laughter, generally speaking.
However, as I get older and the more time I spend with M, the more emotional I have become. Now, let me just say, when I say I get emotional, it’s more like the slow burn of a heating teakettle rather than the constant bubble of a boiling pot. Still, I have found that lately I’m actually funny. I mean, I say witty things and people laugh. Not just my husband, but actual real other people! π€£π There’s no increase in crying, though – thankfully! π
Despite all this, I continue to have a rather limited tolerance for drama. In fact, since I returned from the States, that has decreased even more, or so it seems.
My partner is not quite the same. Perhaps an understatement…
Where I am stoic, he is dramatic. Although we are not opposites in all things, he definitely likes outbursts of laughter and sappy rom-coms far more than I do. Thankfully, he appreciates a good crime show.
So, some days are a test of my patience and self-control to not bite back when his dramatic flare is at its height. The other day, he called me from downstairs asking for some paperwork. It wasn’t so much a request as a demand because he needed it NOW, except he didn’t. He lamented with great self-importance that he had so many messages to respond to with a tone that suggested I needed to drop everything to meet his demands. You can imagine how well that went down. π€ͺ After a calm reply of what I was willing and able to do to help him, he registered the controlled tone of dismissal to his ego-boast and adulted all by himself. ππ
In a later conversation, I suggested that perhaps he didn’t need to be so dramatic. He countered with his usual deflective responses. I listened and laughed, but let’s just say “he’s been managed” ππ!
In this year of SELFishness, my desire to reduce drama is high on my list. We’ve done a few years in M’s way where drama is the motivating factor. Now, I’m going to focus on turning that down a few notches where drama has a purpose, but is no longer a way of life! Wish me luck! π
~T π₯πβοΈ
I think ways of dealing with ones partner evolves . The way we respond to problems in our relationships varies with time. In my second marriage things came to physical anger to the point I haven’t had any serious dealing with men eversince.
That is sad to hear…I don’t think I knew you were married twice with such a sad ending…
One thing I learned by that experience is if theres any doubt and you bring children into the relationship it could be very big trouble. I’m happy now aside from normal ups and downs and its been a good life with lots of things to be happy and greatful for.