Where Are You From?

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Feb 062012
 

I’ve started following another blog by adoptees – Land of Gazillion Adoptees. It is seemingly more organized and purposeful site than most of the others that I’ve come across.

Today, I read one of their recent postings about the question people ask – “Where Are You From?”. I know that I’ve written a poem somewhere or ranted about this before (though I can’t find the posts at the moment), so it was rather comforting to find another article with the same issues and another attempt at expressing how it feels when others innocently ask this question.

I still am working on my own answer to this question in a way that satisfies the questioner and doesn’t cause further questions into my personal life than is normal for someone who isn’t adopted….

πŸ˜€

Warped sense of busy…

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Feb 052012
 

Despite the fact that I am studying for my doctoral degree, teaching full-time, and now coordinating a level at work, I still have quite a lot of free time.

If I have a reasonable amount of free time, how is it that other people constantly feel like they are super busy all the time? If they have small children, I understand somewhat that they might be super busy outside of work. However, at work…I know they aren’t dealing with family matters there. So, what makes them so busy?

Today, I was inundated with emails every few minutes about matters that meant little to me. Files were shared, information passed on, but none of it mattered to me at the moment in which it was sent or even hours later. In fact, I just got annoyed that I had to make the effort to click on the message to read it!

Anyway, I just guess that we all have a different sense of being busy….

πŸ˜€

 Posted by at 21:12

Being boring…

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Feb 042012
 

It’s funny to say that I’m the most boring person I know, but the reality is that everyone else does truly seem to be and say far more interesting things than I am/do.

Mostly, I find myself uninterested in my own thoughts; thus, why would anyone else want to hear them?

Sometimes I wonder what it is that I’m actually interested in as I have nothing I am super passionate about or feel a strong conviction for.

Still, I work. I write. I do pottery. I read (sometimes). I knit and crochet. I travel. I study (sometimes). So, it’s not like I’m dead….

However, I still bore myself… πŸ˜›

 Posted by at 15:09

Depressed…

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Feb 032012
 

Every two weeks I take an online test to check my levels of anxiety and depression. This started back when I had decided to try out anti-depressants to get myself out of the dark hole I was in. Even though I have long stopped taking any medication, I do continue to take the test because it sort of keeps me aware of how I’m feeling.

Lots has been going on lately with some emotional ups and downs. Nothing of particular interest really, but enough to disrupt my sleeping habits and probably more that I’m not making the connections to.

So, my last test a few days ago showed an all-time high for depression and an all-time low for anxiety. Usually, my anxiety is high and depression is medium to low. This sort of woke me up to understanding why I’m waking up so early and why I’m not interested in much of anything, especially reading….

Thus, I’ve tried to do the following in hopes of resetting the mood button:

*exercising regularly

*eating breakfast and more regularly throughout the day

*drinking more water (though now I also pee more!)

*getting out of the apartment more to see friends or just run errands

*reminding myself of goals

*making lists to organize my mind and tracking productivity, which contributes to a sense of satisfaction

*most importantly – being positive!

We’ll see how we go, but I already feel better after just a few days of this regimen. Just need to remind myself to stay on track now and then.

πŸ˜€

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