Nuances

Gosh, it has been ages since I’ve had a moment to stop and go deep into the vortex known as my grey matter. Not that I have anything overly profound to say, but I do feel a bit as if I have been in another universe and suddenly landed myself in an unknown time called – now.

Since I was young, I have known that I think differently and view the world differently than many, or even most. Learning early on in life to adapt with those around me has given me the skills of a chameleon to hide the truth of the way that I might think or feel.

For many years, I did not ever express an opinion of my own nor take part in conversations, even ones where I might have agreed. Shy was not the adjective to use to describe me as I was not afraid to speak up. I was more reticent to be noticed or to make it obvious that I did not necessarily agree with the norms going on around me. I can hear, you as the reader saying to yourself, “Okay, like what?”

Here’s an example, I have started an online magazine – The Universal Asian. The title by itself is a unifying one and expresses the actual fact that I believe in balance and open-mindedness in its truest form. However, the tagline of the magazine is: ‘the voices of the #importedAsians and #hyphenatedAsians’.

Obviously, #hyphenatedAsians has no nuanced meaning to cause the balance to go off-kilter. However, an early conversation and some following have made me see that #importedAsians carries a negative tone for some in reference to adoptees from international countries.

While I can appreciate the negative nuance that one might get from it, I absolutely do not look at it that way. When I was considering a more unique way to refer to adoptees that were not necessarily Caucasian or domestically adopted, but whose origins started in another country, the best way to express it was by the methods taken to bring that child to another country, which is like a product. We pay the seller to send over the product and import it to the country in which we want to keep the product. Although it might not be considered politically-correct or kosher to talk about people in this way, the fact is that people paid money for a child and took them from a country of origin to their own country to stay.

The judgement that might connect to the reason why families took this action or how they then treated the young person they brought over is a whole different matter to place pluses or minuses on.

So, in this way, I felt I was being neutral in my words, but some disagreed. Now, obviously, it hasn’t been a major issue as we are still getting readers and contributors – thank goodness!

However, it is this challenge with nuances and words that is also playing into the current state of politics and the pandemic surrounding us.

Last night, we were walking and I was thinking about the story of the Tower of Babel. I said that if this story is truth, as many accept the Bible to be, then why don’t more people call God out as responsible for the wars and suffering people have today? I mean, surely others must think that this was a dickish move on His part?! No offense to the believers reading this, but c’mon you gotta wonder…. I mean I have my own mixed relationship with the Higher Being, which previous writings have clarified so that I now refer to Him as the Universe or Universal Lord. But, I digress….

If this sudden disruption in communication had never occurred and mankind had been allowed to continue to build their tower, how would the world be different?

I always say that communication is the key to successful relationships on any level. When there are frustrations amongst individuals, it is usually due to a lack of speaking and LISTENING. So often we forget that communication doesn’t just refer to talking, but also to openly listening to others.

If we don’t understand the nuance of the words one uses, why are we so afraid to just ask a simple question – “I’m sorry, but what do you mean by that?” Think how much more you could learn about someone and their lives just by asking that question rather than taking it personally, or responding with fear of the unknown (response, perception, etc.).

Twice in the last day I have had people ask me if I ever chat with my voice. One was through Whatsapp voice recording. The other was through Facebook Messenger. To both, I responded “Of course I do.” Neither offended me in any way.

As a writer, I prefer the written word. I communicate more clearly and thoroughly in writing. I use emojis more than most to lighten any tone that might be taken too seriously. I like the written form.

However, I also understand that sometimes hearing the voice can make a huge difference in how we connect and interpret the nuances of the words that we use with each other. So, I’m flexible as my early understanding of not thinking like most people has given me enough awareness and ability to be flexible with the ways in which I communicate.

The problem is that this is not often a reciprocal flexibility…, but perhaps that is for another posting.

Anyway, on the day of Elections 2020, I am hoping that we can avoid any negative nuances and join together in clear communications as we await the direction of the US and the world in these truly uncertain times.

~T 😀