It has been a while since I have checked in about my ups and downs. Somehow, they seem to be less frequent or, at least, less obvious to me. Perhaps, I should ask my husband, though! π
Actually, with my middle-aged body changes, I really don’t know if my moods and energy levels are related to hormones or the bipolar tendencies.
What I do know is that I need to maintain balance and calm to avoid being tired or feeling stressed.
One method that works well for me is following a set schedule every day, and that mostly includes the weekends and holidays too.
It may not work for everyone (though most self-help books back me up) and my schedule doesn’t always work for others in my life, but it is necessary for me to stay focused and contributes to my overall satisfaction with myself.
My husband would probably say that it is a bit dramatic, but my sensitivity levels to the world are high causing me more stress than it does for others – like him. Being around people (that really means ALL people) drains my energy and when living in a place like Tokyo, it drains faster like my iPhone battery when connected to too many bluetooth devices. The more connections or interactions I have, the more tired I get.
At the moment, I’m listening to Trevor Noah’s autobiography, Born A Crime, on Audible when I run out of podcasts for the week. I’m trying to fill my mind with a bit less true crime and more about the world or stories in general, especially inspiring ones (that’s not to say I’m not still completely obsessed, just dialing it down a bit π ). Also, I find that with running, I can stay away from wondering when my run is finished while listening to a book more than if it is a short-timed podcast or even songs that end and allow me to get distracted. Anyway, I digress. He has a line that says,
“I was good at being alone. Iβd read books, play with the toy that I had, make up imaginary worlds. I lived inside my head. I still live inside my head. To this day you can leave me alone for hours and Iβm perfectly happy entertaining myself. I have to remember to be with people.β
β Trevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood
This fits me to a ‘T’ as well.
So, this might be the year that I travel and do more for myself and my family, but see other people less. And, I’m okay with that.
Life has its phases and perhaps this is just one where the Cancerian side of me draws back in to my shell to refresh and revive for future phases.
Also, to keep a handle on my ups and downs, sticking to a schedule and planning ahead maintains an even keel for me and for others around me. It allows my mind, body, and soul to maintain a sense of freedom and control that keeps the pendulum ticking at an even pace. To me, this is balance and perfection for life.
Therefore, for my friends who read this blog and wonder why I might cancel (though I am a notorious serial canceler π ) or not reach out as much as I normally would/do, it’s nothing personal to you – it’s me, not you π .
Seriously, though, I do still appreciate the need for flexibility in life. So, as long as it does not affect my inflexibility with schedules to stay on target with my goals, I promise to be flexible with what remains. π
~T π
