In all my life,
I’ve wanted to be
as I am with you
– Just me.
In all my life,
I’ve wanted to share
as I do with you
– Just me.
In all my life,
I’ve wanted to love
as I’m loved by you
as just me.
-T
~February 8, 2010
A year ago
I was starting an adventure
A year ago
I was buzzing with the unknown
A year ago
I was longing for what I was leaving behind
Then, the year passed
in a blur
The year passed
with great perplexion
The year passed
with the future always unsure
Now, somehow
the world is spinning a little slower
Somehow
life here is a little less annoying
Somehow
my reasons for being here are a little clearer
To get here
I had to hurt
To get here
I had to hurt others
To get here
I had to endure
To get here
I had to be endured
But, at last
I’m here.
I’m happy.
I’m content.
I’m free.
I’m me.
-T
~February 6, 2010
Passion and comfort
Excitement and stability
Spontaneity and consistency
Newness and trust
Balances to be made and found
Bringing my ideals to the ground
Of reality
Is it too much to want it all?
Is it too much to refuse to fall
Victim to hope’s demise?
Surely there must be a compromise….
-T
~January 20, 2010
What happened to my dreams,
Where I used to imagine were in the clouds?
What happened to my faith,
Where I used to see His face in the clouds?
What happened to my voice,
Where I used to speak and sing to the clouds?
What happened to the joy,
Where I used to find in the clouds?
-T
~written in December, 2009
The words echo throughout the town
En masse the people stop to pray
Where has the voice gone? From whence does it come?
Do they all believe in the call?
Will these boys become men if the time came for them to stand
for honor, country and Islam?
Amidst the words, the voices, the prayers
Where am I?
Where do I stand?
Where is my Father, Lord of all?
-T
~written in December, 2009
It wasn’t until the end was near
That it became so clear
Our hearts are intertwined
So strong is the connection of our minds
A friend, a lover, a confidante
A laugh, a kiss, a shoulder to cry on
All these moments we share
All these emotions seemed to come from nowhere
Yet as we weave our way
It feels only natural each day
To allow ourselves to do
Whatever it takes to say “I love you”
-T
~January 6, 2010
Caught in a whirlwind
You aroused feelings I never imagined
Could be
Inside me –
raw anger
deep hate
strong loathing
only disdain
for you
Once you were my only one
I never thought these emotions could come
Was it so hard to see –
my love
my devotion
my pain
my suffering
for you
Now you can only point a finger
Now only in the photos does our memory linger
Of what once was and will never again be.
-T
~October 17, 2009
Oh how the tears wet my pillow
As my arms ache in the absence
That makes my heart droop like a weeping willow
As the sun sets each night
I dread the darkness rolling in
Knowing its the shadows I have to fight
Every part of me misses your presence,
Your eyes, your smile, your smell, your touch
Your breath, your laugh, your very essence
I try to stay active and busy
I try to plan things to do
I try and try that I go dizzy
But despite all my cries
All I can do
Is wait for the sun to rise
-T
~August 30, 2009
Almost a year ago a drunken statement made
Put into motion the uniting of our hearts.
Though time would pass and plans waylaid
To keep us physically apart,
Nothing could stop the emotions from colliding.
Nothing could stop the tears from falling.
Nothing could stop the aching.
Nothing can stop the loving.
Now we move forward at a rapid pace
Hoping for a future with each other
Planning how to always be face to face
And knowing somehow we’ll find a way to be together.
-T
~June 23, 2009
There was a time when I didn’t need to know
There was a time when I thought the answer was clear
There was a time when I imagined it didn’t really matter
If I ever found you
There was a time when I didn’t want to know
There was a time when I thought there were no answers to fear
There was a time when I imagined it would only make me sadder
If I ever found you
Now is a time when I know
Now is a time when I think you coulda been near
Now is a time when I imagine and my dreams are shattered
Because I found you
I haven’t seen your face
I haven’t heard your voice
I haven’t learned of the place
I haven’t yet had the choice
To find you…
Upclose
In person
So far
And yet… so close
The time is coming when I will
Find you
And find me within you
Find me.
-T
~June 11, 2009
