The Temporariness of Life

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Mar 042020
 

Where does the time go? There I was thinking that I was on regular schedule for posting, but then three weeks just flew by! Now, I am back in March and hoping to not jinx my flow.

I guess I have still been a bit busy with work and trying to find the ever elusive balance to life. Whenever I think that I’ve done it, like a see-saw, the balance is quickly lost the moment a bit more on one side or the other appears. So, for now, I’m going to ride the tip toward writing here again.

One thing I have been pondering lately is the temporariness of everything. I recently had a scare that I could lose someone dear to me. While I know that this is an inevitable reality of life – everyone dies eventually – , I was not prepared to consider it for that person.

Often, when I watch shows where someone has died (this is a lot thanks to my addiction to true crime stories), the survivors always say the person who passed was wonderful, amazing, loving, so kind, full of life, etc. I keep wanting someone to say “She was a royal biotch!” or “He was an absolute dick.” It’s like saying that would mean that s/he deserved to die, which is not at all how I think. I just wish that we were honest about how people were/are in life. It’s nice to look fondly on people, and it sells better than if the person were not a good one, but life is temporary and why recall it differently than it is/was?

Since I was very young I have let go of my attachment to life. This does not mean that I haven’t and don’t live my life to the fullest. In fact, because I have let go of my attachment, I feel free to live it up. While I would definitely be pissed off if I was somehow incapable of living life as I know it, I would not look back with regret for the life I have lived.

However, this lack of attachment has also allowed me to live life for myself. I don’t have to worry about leaving kids behind. I don’t have a passionate cause to live and fight for. I don’t have strings attached to the world. Yet, related to re-finding purpose, it also has a downside in that the temporariness of this life leaves me floating a bit too aimlessly.

When I thought that I could lose my loved one, I wondered what life would be like without that person in my life. In turn, I wondered what life would be like without me in it. Right now, I think that it wouldn’t matter much except to those near and dear. Yet, I feel somewhat unsatisfied by that. So, now, I am thinking about what I can do to give back and leave a little something behind.

Thus, I am embracing the temporariness of life and looking forward to narrowing down what I will leave behind.

~T 😀

Re-Finding Purpose

 Going Mental  2 Responses »
Mar 022020
 

Call it midlife crisis or call it whatever you like, but I have been trying to find purpose (again) these days.

When one chooses not to have children, it becomes more difficult at a certain age to define what life is all about. As someone who has spent most of her life trying to be comfortable in her own skin and only recently feeling that is completed, I am now wondering what do I do with this newfound comfort.

This year I decided to make it a goal to work from home more, if not full-time. This is more complicated than just finding online work as I also have to have a visa to continue living in Japan. My three-year visa runs out in October of this year, so it is important that I keep my current full-time position until I renew my visa. Therefore, this gives me a bit of time to at least put some ideas into motion.

While I was struggling with what to do with my life, so to speak, I went into a bit of a fog. It wasn’t a complete depressive state, but it was enough for me to feel a bit lost. Having lost interest and ambition in the world of academia, which is what I have known my entire adult life, I didn’t know where to turn.

Throughout my life, I have not had time or energy to find a passion or cause to champion. I was busy trying to survive life and understand how to navigate through what was given to me. It also takes a level of confidence and certainty about one’s existence to then feel that promoting a cause of some kind is meaningful out of the self – at least that’s how I think about it.

As I mentioned before, having kids sort of gives people a cause by default – whether or not the kids want it 😛 . Without kids, one must come up with something on their own. Oftentimes, one’s partner might become the cause – live for them or help them to change. Neither of those are my cup of tea either.

Still, many studies suggest that giving back to a community or society in some way provides great contentment and satisfaction in life. It’s just that finding the way to give back so that I feel inspired has been evading me.

Finally, though, I think I have found something that is meaningful and could be inspirational. I’m still in the brainstorming phase with a need to do some research on how to build it up and possibly monetize it. However, this feels like something that will stick. I also have some other money making ideas that I need to focus on as well, but at last the brain is starting to move with a forward motion rather than a circular one.

Stay tuned for updates! Fingers-crossed I don’t get lost in it!

~T 😀

Hanami

 General, Going Mental  No Responses »
Apr 032017
 

In Japan, the best seasons are the fall and spring. These are the times of the year when you can be outside and enjoy all that the flora can offer around town. Or, many people take special trips around this time. 

The spring offers views of the famous cherry blossoms where you can see people sitting under trees having picnics or drinking parties. This is known as hanami – looking at flowers. While there are many flowers to look at, THE flower is sakura or cherry blossoms. 

My hope this year was to get the timing right for the sakura, but due to the lingering cooler temperatures, they aren’t quite in full bloom yet. 

As today is my last full day of my visit, I made sure to take some photos where I could. 


Here are some from the weekend as well. 



Will keep these handy as I return to the beige desert sands – though the warmth will be nice. 😉

~T 😀

Kyoto Day 3

 General, Meanderings Abroad  No Responses »
Mar 312017
 

Our last half-day in Kyoto was a cold and wet one. We put on our Oregonian minds and endured the rain drops enough to do the short walk along the Philosophers’ Path (哲学の道哲学の道) where we reminisced about the old days when J and I created our own pronunciation of philosophize to philoSOPHisize because we had trouble saying it correctly. Now, it will never be said properly…. 🤣😂

The Path leads to the Silver Pavilion (銀閣寺) which is J’s favorite place. I think I had a new appreciation for it this time around, perhaps because the rain enhanced the “silver-ness” of the place.

Normally, it is meant to be a place of calm and zen. When I visited the first time as an exchange student I remember being told it was a place for contemplation and to be respectful to other visitors by keeping  as quiet as possible. Well…the tourists of today no longer have received this message or perhaps do not care. We had a few moments with some of the other Asian country tourists, but worked hard not to let it ruin our mood and enjoyment of what the historical space offers. 😍

Overall, it was a lovely way to end our visit, though it was not quite a long enough trip. Next time, we will try to make it a longer one especially since I also did not have the chance to catch up with friends there….😪😓

~T 😀

 

kkk

 

 

Kyoto Day 2

 General, Meanderings Abroad  No Responses »
Mar 302017
 

Nearly another 20,000 steps saw us with a “lighter” touristy day…. We decided to head out to Arashiyama since J had never been out there and it had been quite a while since I went out that way. It is not far outside of the downtown area and E was super excited about the train as it is some kind of special one – afraid it was lost on me. 😉

Arashiyama is more popular during the fall season for the changing colors of the leaves, but it was still rather popular and busy. The highlight definitely had to be the gardens of Tenryu-ji Zen Temple. We also hit a couple of the coffee shops that were listed in our guidebook at the hotel and were definitely not disappointed.

The first was % Arabica Coffee, which has a Hawaiian blend, but was started in Kyoto. We were surprised to find that it has become a chain in countries around the world. The simple branding of it makes sense why it was so popular that lines were consistently formed outside of it throughout the time we were there and probably the whole open hours. We were satisfied with our wait for it too.

The second coffee stop was at Togetsu Cafe on the other side of the bridge. It was less crowded and had a nice modern feel to it. The coffee was also nice, though probably average in taste. Still, coffee breaks are always wonderful.

Our other main pastime aside from cafes and walking to enjoy the scenery is eating. For two nights in a row we have managed to wait in line for dinner. Last night’s was a bit over the top with a nearly two-hour wait at a ramen shop – run by a cute older couple who are making a killing thanks to TripAdvisor. Tonight was just under an hour. Of the two, tonight’s was definitely more worth the wait – though both delicious.

So, aside from putting on about 5kilos this mini trip alone, we have definitely been enjoying our time! 😀

~T 😀

 

Kyoto Day 1

 General, Meanderings Abroad  No Responses »
Mar 292017
 

It’s been many years since I made a visit to Kyoto again after living there for three years in 2001-2004. 

Sometime ago I made a short visit as my first time back since my divorce. I wanted to remember my love for the city outside of the time being unhappily married during those years. 

Now, I am back again wishing my new hubby was with us, but loving the trip down memory lane with my BFF and godson – who is experiencing it for the first time at 11 years old. 

Our first day was pretty full on especially since we were all up at 4:30am to get ready to leave and catch our 6:50am bullet train from Tokyo station. 

Twenty-three thousand plus steps later, we had toured my favorite part of the city:  Chionin Temple to Yasaka Shrine Park to Kodaiji along the Sannenzaka path which leads up to Kiyomizu Temple. Sadly, Kiyomizu was under construction so we did not go in, but we thoroughly enjoyed our walk stopping in the shops, eating and remarking on the new “kimono experience” craze by so many tourists. 

Overall, despite being exhausted we had a great first day in the old capital city of  Japan 🇯🇵! 

~T 😀

An Ethan Day

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Mar 282017
 

Today was a day with my godson since J had to work. So, beforehand I gave him a task to organize something to do for us.

He had a good plan that we set into action. We headed to Roppongi to start our adventure at the Hedgehog Cafe. 






Only in Japan would there be a place that they charge people to come in and pet hedgehogs with a time limit even…. It was an interesting experience and we were both glad we went though it was a little boring given that hedgehogs tend to sleep 80% of the day!

Afterwards E had found a ramen place nearby that has history going back to 1975. It was a large portion and though we could not share our usual gyoza plate, we both walked away with very full bellies.



We made our way back and are bonding over some TV/computer time. Overall I’d say it has been a successful Ethan day! <3

~T 😀

Staying Warm

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Mar 272017
 

The warmth of Abu Dhabi is starting to be a little missed, but for the past few days the desert has been full of thunderstorms, lightning and rain. The only difference is the temperature. 🙂

While I miss my big teddy bear warmer known as my hubby, I am staying warm with the company and spoiling of my BFF and family. <3

So, not too much to say at the moment as it has been a nice quiet few days. The weekend went quickly and I was not good at taking pictures, but it was lovely. A new week has started so will be updating on more activities soon enough.

For today – I am warm in heart and spirit if not physicall! 😛

~T 😀

Ikaho Onsen 

 General  No Responses »
Mar 252017
 

Missed posting yesterday because J and I took a girls’ trip out to higher elevations, colder temps and warm hot springs in Gunma’s Ikaho Onsen area. 

It was a short trip out of Tokyo (about 1.5hrs from Ueno Station to Shibukawa). We did the famous 365 steps up and down from the shrine to the bottom and back. It is a popular tourist location in the fall, but it was still a lovely trip – even more so because it was a free stay due to J’s hubby’s family. (ありがとうございました。) 

Pictures probably say more than I can, so will let the pictures speak for themselves! 

~T 😀

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