Although I cannot say that I ever have the conventional image of writer’s block, I do feel at times that I have nothing of significance to write. Psychologically, this has to be a factor in the concept of looking at a blank page and having nothing come out. For the most part, when I sit down to write, I feel quite confident that if I just take a deep breath and let my hand or fingers move the words will come. So far, this has proven to be true.

In a way, this is a fortunate state of being since I claim writing as my current profession and response to “What do you do?”. Yet, these days, I feel like everyone is now claiming “writing” as what they do. 

When we were in Barcelona, we decided to go to an Internations event. It’s a networking organization with chapters all around the world in major cities. Since we were going to be there for a few weeks, I thought it was a way to try to meet some people as locals also sometimes attend these events. It is also how M and I met, so it couldn’t be that bad, right? We went, it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great–I ended up being more interested in the salsa/bachata event next door. However, I did force myself to meet a few new people, which was fun. One person whom I met said she was a writer. She claimed to have published a book or two. So, when I asked what kind of book, she explained that she’s actually a life coach and published workbooks for her clients. Having discovered a different definition of being a writer, we did not speak again for the rest of the time I was there.

Now, I’m not a writing snob as many in the industry can be. I believe everyone has a story because we are all unique individuals with different life experiences. Even so, this doesn’t mean that everyone has the gift of storytelling. As with all things, some people are naturally talented at it, while others can work and train to become good at it, and still others will never really be able to tell a good story despite having stories to tell. So, once we understand our skill level, then we can determine how to proceed.

In my case, I am not an oral storyteller. My voice is too quiet and if I make it louder, my voicebox tenses and I personally feel anxiety as if I am shouting. It triggers an unnecessary and unmatched emotional response–not in a good way. Plus, I’m shocking at getting to the point or making it clear with my voice because I’m so caught up in my head about the details, processing (too slowly) how much to share, and then by the time I know what I want to say most listeners are ready to say their own bit so that my turn is lost. 

Some have recommended that I train in public speaking to improve my oral skills. I have not taken such advice. Why? Because I don’t want to become a good oral storyteller. Also, I know how to give a public speech. I’ve done it quite a few times over my lifetime and I can do it just fine when given enough time and space to prepare. However, as my mock trial experiences highlighted I am not one for thinking on my feet and spontaneously weaving a tale.

All that said, I am quite confident in my writing ability. Ever since I started writing at age eight, whether in a journal or for school assignments, I became aware of my enjoyment and efficacy in writing. So, that is what I developed. Plus, I love to read. Reading gave me the models I could use to improve my writing. Now, it is like second nature to read and to write. I’ve written many times before about how not writing is like holding my breath and eventually I become very antsy when I cannot or do not write.

It is then obvious and easy to understand how I might never get writer’s block. There are always conversations going on in my head. Without wanting to sound crazy, there are also always characters forming, creating, musing, and fighting for presence in my mind. So much so that when I do sit down to write, I only need to pause to allow one of them to sit down in the hotseat and take over my fingers/hands and let the words flow out. Rarely, do I plan what I am going to write. Occasionally, I outline a story because I understand the need for a story arc, character development, and plot scheme. But, mostly, I just write. I let the muses take over and pour out the words.

One might think, then, that I should be more prolific in a professional sense. I suppose that the snobs out there wouldn’t consider my blog running since 200? is sufficient or that I write a monthly Substack or that over the years I have contributed to various online magazines and even created my own platform for sharing stories. Because I am not published in many print spaces nor recognized as a name nor even receive much money for my publications, it is not really deemed a “profession” or as “work”. 

Yet, the fact is, I am a writer. I write every day. I am writing in my head every waking minute. Writing is my bloodline. Sometimes I wonder if I come from a line of authors or if it is just something I got as an alternative form of expression. It doesn’t really matter, though. I write and will keep writing whether I ever make money to make a living or whether I sell millions of copies. Always, my intent since I was eight years old is to write in hopes that perhaps one other person out there will relate and not feel alone.

~T 🔥🐉♋️