Yesterday was a reminder of the challenges in interacting with people from another culture and coming to terms with the fact that at least 85% of the problem is me as the stranger to said culture.

For the most part, I live my life as I would if I lived anywhere in the world. Having lived longer out of the US than in the US now, I feel that calling myself a “global citizen” is definitely more accurate. However, on the other side of that is the fact that I also do not always fit in anywhere. 

One of the layers of snobbery that can be found amongst expats, or at least in my experience, is in how much one judges others to have integrated into the local community and culture. Some people feel a sense of satisfaction by latching onto one kind, local person as their best friend and entrance into the newly claimed “home”. Others determine their status by how much they can communicate in the native tongue even if most of their friends are outsiders.

As for me, I really don’t care about any of it. I am not in competition nor do I judge just how much one has “gone native”. It seems weird. It feels somehow like colonialism, globalism, or any other ‘ism one might want to use. What I do consider is how well one behaves as an expat. 

M and I consider ourselves professional expats, having lived in multiple countries outside of our own ones, and successfully made life work for us in each of them–regardless of how much language we learned/used, regardless of how many local friends we made, regardless. 

However, recently, I have expanded my interactions in the “real world” of Italy. Putting myself out into the outer edges of business activities and becoming a part of a specific community–yoga, meditation, well-being–means that I am involving myself in different spaces. Getting out of my comfort zone of home, language, relationships, etc., will inevitably have some growing pains. While I expected it, even claimed to have welcomed it, I can’t say I like it.

Fortunately, I can reflect. I am able to accept that this is just a one-time issue that I will have to deal with. Once it is discussed clearly, I shouldn’t have to worry about it again. Yet…I also know that something else could arise. I don’t want to go into details as that isn’t the point. Basically, what I think is simple, straightforward, and requires a couple of sentences to clarify seems to not be the case. Undoubtedly, there is something I am missing in the language, in the style of doing business, in …who knows what else.

Since I am the foreigner here, I am willing to take the brunt of the responsibility. Not everything should or will go according to what I think is best–even if I do want to say it’s wrong! One thing is for certain, it will all work out just fine. Thankfully, all things pass either for good or for bad. Either way, clarity will eventually present itself. In this case, it will be fine. It just cost me a few hours of messaging, talking on the phone (which I detest), and contemplation to try to understand. If it is a gain of cultural understanding and strengthening of relations, then it’s all worth it, right?

I hope so!

~T 🔥🐉♋️