I am still on this whole introverts vs extroverts topic. I might be obsessing a bit on it, but clearly it is one that has hit a nerve and made me want to share more to bring better understanding on behalf of fellow introverts.

When M and I first met, I remember telling him that he should understand that I am what I deem an extreme introvert. So, I sent him articles on it. To my great surprise, he read them. We discussed the concepts, and it has carried on being a part of continued learning of one another over the years. This is a rarity amongst people, as proven by my recent experience (written about in earlier posts).

My coping mechanism has long been put into place. It serves as a kind of cover that makes me seem to be outgoing, sociable, and “fun”; in other words, more like a socially acceptable extrovert.

Now, let me just say, when I am out, I am generally outgoing. People do interest me even if I do not “like” them. Still, there is always something to learn or observe. Being open to potential relationships and experiences is a very important element to me. Also, when I am feeling pretty charged up with energy, I enjoy interacting with others and my “fun” side comes out with laughter, banter, dancing, etc. So, being an introvert does not exclude these characteristics from also presenting themselves.

It just depends on how recharged I feel.

Just about everyone who knows me to a reasonable level has come to realize that my days are scheduled. I work out the entirety of the next week’s activities on the Friday or Saturday before. Most outings are arranged and put into my calendar. Each week, I have a pretty similar routine with flexibility allotted on the following weekend or days when less is going on. If a pre-arranged activity needs to be adjusted, more often than not, I just reschedule it for the following week. Why? Because I have calculated when and how much time I have to recharge myself. A cancelled or rescheduled activity until the next week means I gain more time–a win for me. Rescheduling in the same week means that I have to rearrange, re-calculate, in other words, use more of my energy to try to make it happen–a loss.

Since I used to be a serial canceller, I decided that the better way to avoid this behavior was to just maintain a schedule. If it gets put into my calendar far enough in advance, then the chances are higher that I will actually attend, because I can prepare, store up, and be the fullest version of myself.

So, you see, it is not a matter of me not going out at all. That is not what makes one an introvert. I am not anti-social (well, not all the time). Rather, I enjoy my own time. In fact, I need my own time to plug in for a full battery charge, then I can truly experience life.

One warning, though, is that I rather love having a full battery. This means that recently I have become a bit protective, even greedy, about my energy levels. I feel better and I feel purposeful when I stick to my patterns of going to bed at 9 PM, getting up at 5 AM or so, exercising at least once or sometimes twice a day, eating when we want to, and quite honestly, not seeing anyone other than M in a day. It gives me a greater sense of satisfaction than going out into the world.

Still, I love to venture out to a large city or meet friends for a catch up over coffee or meal and drinks or traveling here, there, and everywhere. Being an introvert doesn’t mean being a hermit or avoiding interactions. It just means that the “self-care” or “mental health” focus is internal; often spent alone or in a space of true comfort and peace.

So, I implore you extroverts out there to respect and understand the ways of an introvert. And, if you’re a fellow introvert, don’t try to deny it. Embrace it. Find time to yourself to fully recharge. Then, go out and live it up!

~T 🔥🐉♋️