Just two weeks ago, I was sitting by the sea soaking up some sunshine and feeling my smallness amidst the shades of blue above and below. There, I felt a sense of freedom. I felt the warmth return to my soul; a slow defrosting of my heart toward the world. 

The past few days, I have sat amidst a sea of people absorbing the reverberations of noise and constant stimulants of color, movement, and light. I navigate competing energies of a thousand different living beings. 

Yet, in this, I find a completely different sense of freedom–one that refreshes another side of who I am. Confidence builds, and my sense of placement in the world becomes both satisfyingly insignificant and yet affirmed that I do have a presence in my more loudly expressed ‘Thank You’ and my more self-assured approach to asking questions or making requests. 

While I would never have identified as being “shy”, I have always declared myself an introvert. Those who see my active social schedule often roll their eyes when I remind them that I must restore my energy alone. They mistake “introverted” for “reclusive.” It is not that I need to hole myself up in complete isolation, though sometimes I do indeed need to do this; but it is in spending time for myself, doing as I choose without pressures or demands by anyone else to decide what is best for me that I re-energize. 

No matter what environment I am in, I can replenish a different facet of who I am. In the sun and by the sea, I fill out my bohemian spirit. In the buzz of the city, I spark the powerhouse within using the urban vibrancy to feed my productivity and purpose in the world.

The more I spend time with myself, the more I understand who I am without the influences or projections of others on me. I realize how little others’ opinions are needed to define my actions or motivate the pursuit of my desires. 

During this trip, I got hit with huge moments of inspiration from visits to the museum, conversations with family and friends, and wandering the bustling streets. Even though I could have been deflated walking through the bookstores seeing all the various books already out there, instead, I found myself simply desiring to see my own titles placed on the shelves or tables highlighting recommended reads.  

So, while I love my home in the country and the comfortable life I have with my husband and our, now, four cats. I also feel blessed to have the ability to “pop out” of that comfort zone now and then. Whether it’s the silence of the coast or the roar of the city, these shifts allow me to refresh, rediscover, and embrace the many different facets that make me who I am.

~T 🔥🐉♋️