Well, it’s taken me almost a month to be able to post about this or to write on here at all. I have been avoiding emotional processing of the loss of these two beautiful souls. At the beginning, I sobbed. I spent hours rewatching videos over the three short years we had with them. I looked at photos so that I would erase the memory of their lifeless bodies and only remember when their playful spirits were fully alive. However, I think I have now finally made it to acceptance without feeling tears in my eyes – or at least fewer of them.

I don’t want to go into details about what happened to them. The brief is that they were bitten by a viper snake out in the woods/fields. Peanut was gone by the time she was found and Monty tried hard to fight for life over two days, but didn’t make it. To lose one was a tragedy, but both of them at once is a massive heartbreak. So, that’s all I can say on that.

Mostly, I just want to remember the joy they brought to us. I am constantly reminded by others how far their spirits spread around the world, whether it was thanks to house/dog sitters, their Instagram account, or just friendly greetings by visitors to our home. However, no one knows just exactly how much I loved these two crazy pups.

Never having had children, I really never understood the concept of people saying you don’t know true love until you have them. I also always called BS to such a cliche statement. Yet, now, I think I have a small idea of what is meant even if I still cannot get behind hyperbolic words. Still, from the moment we went to Rome to pick up the little pups, they were like my babies. They were better than babies because they loved unconditionally, always aimed to please even if there was a bit of sass and character that occasionally made them stubborn against our commands, and above all, they never talked back. Instead, they just wanted to be fed and loved. Both of which they got in full and beyond.

Having four-legged souls in a home changes the energy of the space. While our cats, who have traveled with us from Japan and around France and Italy, are their own kind of presence, each species has their own way of being present in the world. The pups were vibrant, full of life, and eager companions. The cats, well, they are full of life just in a much more independent except for their need of feeding kind of way.

So, even though I am happy the cats seem to now be living their own best lives having full reign of the house again without fear of being chased or bullied to share their food, I miss my puppies every day. Each day, the sadness is a little less, but they will never be forgotten nor not missed. For now, I am trying to give all the love I shared each day with the pups to the cats and other humans.

It’s not the same, but it will have to do.

~T 🔥🐉♋️