It’s been just over a week now since O-day. Overall, everything seems good in terms of the healing. I’m still generally off the pain meds, but still taking some arnica montana 30c a few times throughout the day. However, the mood the last couple of days has been less than stellar.

Probably, my insides are healing as the pain has been a bit more unpredictable. The gas and bowel movements are still not ideal and are far more frequent than I would like, which doesn’t help the mood either. Mostly, I think I must be missing my freedom.

This morning, I asked Gemini how long before I could start exercising. Yes, I know. I cannot yet.

I have to remind myself it’s only been a week. It’s a six to eight week process, so I’ve still got five to seven weeks left of trying to behave myself, especially physically. I do try to focus on the beautiful weather, or the fact I was able to go out and enjoy a coffee and pastry after our dentist appointments. The small moments are important.

Still, I am struggling a bit. So, I decided to share the following on my Instagram stories today. While one might think I am looking for sympathy, I would say that if anything I am looking for connectivity and offering up information.

I used Gemini to generate the image and then wrote the text. I think that sometimes on social media I might post that all is well or a pretty picture of a flower. In general, overall, my life is fantastic. Yet, I also want to be sure to post the moments when there are learning experiences, or reasons to pause and reflect. Situations can change in a moment and nothing can prepare you for it.

Beforehand, the focus was on the surgery itself. No one hinted at or discussed the emotional toll that can be felt afterwards. I recall a similar sort of period when I broke my ankle. The reminder that I am not always independent or do not have the freedom I might desire deep within is jarring.

Everything is within myself. The depressive feelings, thoughts, the personal small pity party, the listlessness, and more is all in my head space. It is of my own creation. This doesn’t mean that I can simply get over it, or that I should push past it (bury it), or whatever other avoidance ploys I might want to apply. Instead, I need to work through it in all its fullness.

So, that is where I am today. I am hopeful that the next time I write I’ll be back on the cheerier side of things. Until then, you know where to find me.

~T🔥🐉♋️