Japan – Page 2 – Creative Meanderings

Retreating

Nov 092018

When the sun and moon align, people gather together to view the phenomenon with the promise of each time being the ~est in our lifetimes. Yet, it is this equilibrium and balance that awes us and, despite all the fanfare and build up, lasts mere moments.

Our life experiences are similar. Though we do not always see the build up or understand the fanfare (aka drama) that we go through, we do live for those mere moments. Yet, there are also times when our focus is so much on the build up and drama that we miss the brief moment that it was all meant for. It is only when we have the luxury of time and reflection that we sometimes find light in the shadows.

In 2017, I had high hopes for life and was on a path that I thought was taking me to a better version of myself and my life. In fact, contrary to my usual avoidance in making New Year’s Resolutions, I set out quite a list of them for that year. Unfortunately, other than managing to finish my RYT500 yoga teacher training, I did very little in terms of the goals I had laid out. (Lesson being I’m probably not going to do that again! 😛 )

However, with somewhat disbelief that nearly two years have passed since our lives were quite different from now, I have been given the luxury of time and reflection to see the light in the shadows of those darker days when it seemed that there was no way out.

When we moved to Japan again, I took some time away from the world of yoga and mindful meditation. I didn’t have time to focus any energy on that as we had to go into survival and rebuilding mode. It was what was needed at the time, and still is to some degree for the foreseeable future. Still, as the Universe and God continue to bless us, some potential possibilities were building up to the forefront of reality.

In an early conversation about possibly getting to the point in our life to again think about traveling or taking some time to decompress at a retreat, my BFF mentioned that she follows someone on Instagram who hosts yoga and meditation retreats in Japan. I took note for later, as we were nowhere near a place to be considering such a thing seriously. Then, proving that the Universe knows, she forwarded me an article that came out interviewing the host of the retreats with more details about it. I again saved it for a later date since the timing was in the summer and we were just starting to touch our feet to the ground again.

Over the months, with the help of some secret-ing, we avoided attracting too much drama and instead focused on the alignment of our lives in all areas, as much as possible. Through this, the Universe and God conspired together to align timing and funding; thus, creating the opportunity to be able to attend the Dairyuji Yoga and Mindfulness Retreat in the very local city of Oga located in Akita Prefecture.

Literally everything aligned.

I was able to leave work early and take the five-hour trip from Tokyo to Oga for a meaningful and refreshing weekend.

Meeting G & K, our hosts, was like reading an inspirational book that reignites a flame of hope in humanity. Their kindness and openness was as fresh as the country ocean air surrounding the Oga peninsula.

For a yoga/mindfulness retreat, this one was an easy way to get my feet wet as a first-time experience. I don’t know about others, but my image of some retreats is more hard-core yoga practice and inescapable focus on being “spiritual”.

Perhaps because of the environment of the temple itself, or perhaps because of the people themselves, there wasn’t a need to be pushy. If anything, they could perhaps have been pushier with a bit more yoga and meditation time. However, if the aim was to provide a relaxing retreat environment with an opportunity to explore mindfulness and try some yoga, this was a success.

As an added bonus, I made connections with people whom I may never see again, and yet I feel were purposeful interactions drawing a nearly full circle from past to present. I think I’ve said before that I believe all connections have meaning and though I may not fully know what they are now, I hold them close in anticipation for a later revelation.

So, I will let the pictures speak for themselves as I consider the next possible, perhaps more hard-core, retreat in the future! 😉

Dairyuji-Oga Yoga/Meditation Retreat_Oct2018 / Google Photos

~T 😀

The Self: Part 2

Going Mental No Responses »

Oct 242018

This week has been #singlelife for me as M is away visiting family. It’s the first time in almost two years that we have been apart for so long or without stress related to our time apart.

Even though I obviously miss him, it has been a fruitful time for me.

For a while now, maybe a couple of years, I have felt less like myself despite how I may have appeared on the outside. There are a number of factors that probably contributed to this: quitting my job (something I really wanted/needed to do), massive financial struggles, changes in lifestyle, etc. etc. During this period of time, I had to depend on other people like I have never ever done before and it is something that I am NOT very good at doing.

With an early childhood like mine, where there was no one to depend on unconditionally, I naturally learned to rely only on myself for that which I held dear. I shared nothing of value to me with anyone – even with those whom I had grown to trust and love.

The truth is that I would dare to say that a very small number of people in my life truly know me: know what makes me cry (because emotions are sacred to me), know what my deepest thoughts about the world are, know what is actually important to me when it comes to this life and those I love, or know my expressions in all that I value.

As a young idealistic youth, I thought that if people really wanted to know me, they would make the effort to discover these things about me and if they didn’t, well, I was just fine on my own without them. However, recent experiences have shown me that the opaque walls I built around me to give others the impression that they knew me, but they didn’t, aren’t necessary anymore – if they ever really were.

These days, I return to some of my core values and beliefs.

I have always valued connections – whether positive or negative. People and experiences are what enrich our lives. When we close ourselves off by demanding that meet ups with others be on our terms or not at all, we only close the door to our own enrichment. When we say that we just need ‘me-time’ or that we cannot be ‘arsed’ to make an effort, we are really letting ourselves down. When we make excuses of time, money, energy or whatever millions of other reasons we can find to justify why our self-centeredness is more important and more meaningful than opening the doors to others, then we are only limiting ourselves.

We, as individuals, can do anything. We can see the world. We can meet anyone. We can have more money than we need. We can have unlimited amounts of energy. We can make a contribution to society no matter how great or small.

How? By letting go of the self. Nothing and no one is ever alone. If we feel that we are, we only have ourselves to blame for our pushing away, for our blindness, for our lack of acceptance, for our lack of reaching out and asking.

If I had not valued the connections I had made over the years, there is no doubt in my mind the past few years would have been a million times worse than they were. Because of those connections (you know who you are), I am able to look back now with a smile and a sardonic laugh. I look back with extreme amounts of gratitude and love. I look back with limitless amounts of appreciation for the willingness to drop everything or give unconditionally to help me when asked, knowing that it was not an easy thing for me to do. There is no way that I can ever express enough how their SELFlessness helped me when I needed it the most.

In yoga philosophy, we study about the ego. We contemplate how the ego, or self, keeps us from true harmony in our lives – inside and out. While I never thought of myself as overly egotistical, I was definitely all about mySELF: self-confidence, self-reliance, self-care, self-help, and the list could go on. I had bought in to the idea that truly taking care of number one could only be done by yours truly.

Yet, as I discover the falsity of this way of thinking, I unexpectedly find myself more content and at peace.

Of course, this does not mean that I retract my claim of ‘not liking people’. 😛 It just means that, despite the irony of having time on my own to come to this realization, it is not always in my best interest – or any of ours – to focus so much on myself. Instead, I hope to restart embracing more connections and gaining experiences that enrich not only my life, but also help me to make whatever contribution I can back to others and the world in whatever way the Universe and God have planned for me.

~T 😀

Making Space

Going Mental 1 Response »

Oct 182018

Whenever there is a lot of clutter in my life, I feel out of sorts and confused. Perhaps this is why organizing is like a hobby for me as it makes me feel cool, calm, collected and in control. 😉

As a young child I had no say in who my family was, where I lived, where I went or what I possessed. My early movements were so frequent that I could never form an attachment to anything or anyone. This lack of control or say in my life contributed to a harmless, but significant need to keep every scrap of paper that represented a memory in my life – from manuals to devices/appliances I no longer own, to my first set of Valentine’s cards in the first elementary school that I actually stayed in, to contracts of employment for every important job I’ve had thus far, to notebook after notebook that might carry some random thought I had about whatever was happening in that moment.

Study and teaching materials, monthly bills, movie tickets, travel brochures and receipts from trips all filled boxes that have moved with me throughout my adult life – nine years in Japan, nearly nine years in the UAE and now back to Japan.

Since our things finally arrived after a year in storage in the desert, we have been trying to sort out how to make what seemed like a minimalist lifestyle there fit into our new truly limited space – which is spacious by any standard here for just two people.

Additionally, life now has different meaning and purpose than it used to.

Before, I was all about the papers – articles I have read, articles I have written, articles I want to write and any (and every) article that represented my ‘wealth of knowledge’. Meaning and purpose was founded in the status of what these papers represented. I felt control and satisfaction over the fact that I have a record of my life and events in the myriad of boxes that have traveled with me.

My husband likes to give me grief about the fact that many of my papers have come full circle. 😛 Some of the papers were useful to me, but the truth is that I wasn’t ready to let go of the life these papers represented.

After a number of pivotal moments, my life has greatly changed in the last few years. At last, it is time for the papers to go into the circular file – letting go of the past.

So, as I filled nearly 30 45L trash bags with that which no longer serves me, I felt not a loss of control, but rather a sense of freedom. The weight of all those papers was being lifted as my sweet partner encouraged me to get rid of the meaningless and unnecessary scraps of the past. At the same time, he supported me in keeping the items that represent important memories knowing how they can anchor me in remembering transitional periods of life back then. Still, I joked, my entire adult life (and some of my childhood) was boiled down to these 30 garbage bags.

Although I have not left a paper-trail-friendly profession completely, my home is now a safe space that I only want to fill with memories of travels, pictures of those I love, and items of a shared life with my partner. Each thing will now have meaning and purpose to represent all that I cherish rather than all that I could not let go of.

For the first time in my adult life, I have pictures and things up on my walls with plans to put up more. For the first time in my adult life, I am willing to establish a place to call home. For the first time in my adult life, I am not concerned about collecting everything just in case something is forgotten.

This process is far from being complete – I have collected a lot of stuff, so it will take a bit more time! However, the major boxes are emptied and many items have been discarded.

Now, we have more space to fill, carefully, with that which represents our life together serving us with love and joy.

~T 😀

Art Among Millions

Going Mental No Responses »

Sep 252018

Digital art lab exhibition / Google Photos

The joy of living in a mega city such as Tokyo is that there is always something to do in whatever area of interest you may have. The downside is that there are always a million (seemingly so) other people who are interested in the same things no matter how obscure they might be. Add to that advertising on Facebook and well, of course, there are going to be crowds.

Some months ago we saw an advertisement for teamLab Borderless Digital Art Museum opening up in Odaiba. Both of us were interested in going.

So, we finally had a chance to go this past week.

Overall, the exhibition of digital art was pretty cool – said in the most intellectual tone I can muster. ;)🤣👩🏽‍🎨

The only problem is that trying to absorb the ambience of culture and appreciate what artists may have had in mind is a challenge when there are thousands (okay, maybe hundreds…) of other people attempting to do the same.

Or, maybe it was originally imagined to include waiting in lines and time limits to enjoy the art feature as part of the experience? 🤔

Anyway, along with the renewed lesson that I have to accept we live amongst millions, it was worth the visit. The creative minds that came up with the art on exhibition are indeed far beyond my own understanding. But, it made going to a ‘museum’ a lot more fun! 😛

~T 😀

Cool Sighs

Going Mental No Responses »

Sep 242018

It has been a little less humid and lot cooler the past week or so. Of course, more rain has come with that, but it also means that the fall blooms are starting to brighten up the paths.

When you live in a place with actual seasons (despite people’s recent complaints that Japan doesn’t have four seasons 🍁⛄️🌸☀️) conversation around weather is inevitable. After living in a country that really had no seasons other than hot ☀️and hotter☄️ I have come to appreciate them more than I did before. Also, I have become more aware of my preference for one season over another.

Before, people would ask me as a small talk conversational piece, “What’s your favorite season?”. I would look at them as if they were crazy and think, “What a dumb question…, who cares?” 😖

Now, I understand. Now, I have a favorite season with a more mature understanding of why. 👵🏽

As a youth, I would say ‘summer’ was my favorite because it meant school holidays and long sunny days of nothing but pleasurable activities. As I got older, I would stubbornly refuse to answer such a question and say something sarcastic, like “I prefer tropical climate”, which isn’t an answer to the question at all. 🙄

These days, I can honestly say that ‘fall/autumn’ is my favorite season. It’s a season that feels like the biggest ‘sigh’ of relief and letting go. The heat goes away lowering humidity levels. The winds blow a cooler breeze that refreshes the skin. The colors become bright on the trees giving the eyes some stimulation. People come out to enjoy the weather with smiles and chatty sounds.

Although the rain increases and there is still some humidity, it feels as if the community (or at least my little place in the world in Japan) has breathed out a collective cool sigh of relief with a quicker step in their feet as we forget about the trying summer times and avoid the need to hunker down for winter. It’s a period of time to just be and breathe.

~T 😀

An Okinawan Holiday

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Sep 232018

The downside of going back to work and working for a business rather than an academic institution is that vacation days are limited. Add to that other life challenges, makes for a bit of a difficulty in taking summer holidays.

However, I’m not at all complaining as life is a far cry (positively) from what it was just over a year ago – still trying to work out how to update on that….

Anyway, we were finally able to manage a trip away from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo life over a long weekend.

Both of us needed the bit of rest that the beautiful blue waters and sun of Okinawa provided us.

Most of our time was spent on the beaches as we tried out most of the popular ones thanks to being able to drive around the main island. The weather was absolutely perfect and so here are the photos that say it all!

~T 😀

Okinawa / Google Photos

Golden Week 2018

Going Mental No Responses »

May 062018

It’s the end of “Golden Week”, which is a bit of a misnomer because you don’t actually get the whole week off unless you take the two days in the middle of the week as vacation. However, it has been nice to have a bit of a break from the usual routine.

We started the ‘week’ a bit early with my work trip to Nagoya last week. M came down the last day to meet clients and then we had a free day to hang out and explore the city a bit. We came home for the three-day weekend that technically starts “Golden Week” and were able to relax even though M worked the Monday-holiday. I got the beginnings of a cold, I ended up relaxing most of the day and my body tricked me into believing I had gotten off easy and the cold had gone away.

During Tuesday and Wednesday, I was at work dealing with some position transition stress on top of trying to get a textbook updated – which is not done despite my best attempts. Although I brought it home with me, I decided against starting that habit….

Anyway, after a great night out with my BFF on Wednesday, I knew that the cold was coming back. Still, I fought through as I was determined to do our day trips as planned.

Thursday’s visit to Kamakura was lovely and the big ol’ Buddha didn’t give me the same eepy-creepies as it used to in my younger days.

Although I think I may have climbed Mt Takao before, it was fun to do it with my crazy hubby on Friday. It was especially nice to be out in a natural environment with some fresh air away from the city grime.

Unfortunately, pushing myself made my body tell me more strongly that I needed to rest. So, despite planning a beach trip on Saturday, the 2.5hr train ride was enough to convince us both that a day to relax was probably best. Still, we were not idle, we headed in to Tokyo and wandered the streets of Omotesando.

Today being the last day of the long weekend, we have done our household chores and I am catching up on writing whilst preparing mentally for the new week ahead. My cold is on its way out, but my body is still telling me to rest up.

Therefore, our first “Golden Week” has been a much-needed rest from daily life and a chance to just enjoy the days.

I have finally just started to be able to think a bit more clearly and to piece together thoughts that I have put off or been distracted from lately. My tech-detox has returned (aside from using the computer to write) for the day. If I have picked up my phone it has been to make connections with real people rather than just mindlessly surfing the Internet.

Lately, I have felt like I have been drifting through time and space. So, I need to read more pointedly and write more regularly. The weather is amazing and I am determined to appreciate it fully.

Life is truly good and ‘golden’!

~T 😀

Making the Most of It!

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 082017

Well, it has now been five days since being back to Tokyo and it is start to sink in. Having visited the office of my new/old company made it feel a little more real. 😀

Luckily, I have been walking a lot lately to fend off the lack of healthy eating for the past couple of months. Even since returning, I have been enjoying the cuisine of all that Japan has to offer. 😉

Also, even though the humidity is absolutely deadly to me, I have been making myself walk to explore the city especially since we are so close to the downtown area. Yesterday I did about 6km walking around the area where M's office is. He's got a nice area near Shiba Park. This is a pic from the other side of the park from his office.

Today I got in about 5km so far walking from the new office toward 'home' checking out some shops and the area. Everything is very walkable despite the sweat that pours after about ten minutes outside. There is a nice breeze though today from the aftermath of Typhoon #5, so it is fairly pleasant and I am accepting the stickiness that occurs. Besides, if I walk between places, then I can afford all the coffee stops I make throughout the day to get work done and escape from the 40m3 1R/K place we are staying in temporarily. 😛

Still, we have agreed to make the most of our time here by ensuring that we go out exploring, travel and really enjoy our new life. We left behind a lot of negative experiences leaving us ready to build a happy life together here. So far I am enjoying it. Since I cannot work until my visa comes through I have plans to explore, drink coffee and hang out. My BFF and godson will be back soon as well, then the real fun begins!!! <3

~T 😀

A New Adventure Begins!

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 072017

The healing process begins. Thank goodness for the capacity of the brain to forget rather easily.

We have been in Tokyo for four days and already it feels almost as if life in Abu Dhabi was a blur…. Perhaps it really was – at least the past couple of years. My life definitely has changed drastically in the past three years since meeting M and joining our fates together. 😛

Each morning and throughout the day, we remind each other "We are in Tokyo! Isn't it wonderful?!"

I enjoyed my time in Abu Dhabi. I met some good friends. I traveled a lot. I had a lot of great laughs, celebrations and hold memories dear to me. Those whom are meant to be in my life will keep in touch always. At the same time, the time to close that chapter of my life was just waiting for me to take the leap. While we thought that we were going to end up somewhere else many times, it is fitting and ideal that we returned to Japan where my BFF and strongest support system lives.

BFF and I have been saying for a while that we needed to be in the same place together again. It is true. I need a safe place to reset my sanity. M needs a place where I am supported and comfortable to allow him to reset himself as well. This is it!

We are both excited for what our next chapter together is promising to give us. So far we are off to a wonderful start. As time progresses, I will begin to write about our experiences of late as I can sit back and breathe a sigh of relief that we are out of reach of the insanity that we faced. I hope that someday soon we will both look back and just laugh at the whole thing. For now, we have a sense of relief and anticipation for an even better tomorrow!

~T 😀

Hanami

General, Going Mental No Responses »

Apr 032017

In Japan, the best seasons are the fall and spring. These are the times of the year when you can be outside and enjoy all that the flora can offer around town. Or, many people take special trips around this time.

The spring offers views of the famous cherry blossoms where you can see people sitting under trees having picnics or drinking parties. This is known as hanami – looking at flowers. While there are many flowers to look at, THE flower is sakura or cherry blossoms.

My hope this year was to get the timing right for the sakura, but due to the lingering cooler temperatures, they aren’t quite in full bloom yet.

As today is my last full day of my visit, I made sure to take some photos where I could.