If I have learned nothing else this summer, it is that I cannot really plan and most especially cannot control ANYthing. 😛
With that said, there are some things that I can plan and do. Tonight (early tomorrow), I leave for my Bali retreat as part of my yoga teacher training. I am being asked to teach a couple of times during the week with one ‘day’ as mine to lead. Since I have not been teaching lately and have not gone to a studio class for over a month, I am a little bit apprehensive about it. Also, there will be some people there whom I do not know, so despite my general preference to not teach large classes, this is exactly what I will be doing.
The nice thing is that I have had advance notice, meaning that I can actually prepare a bit and plan. Also, I have some flexibility in what I am teaching allowing me to use my own flavor/style, which is good as it gives me comfort. Having just completed putting together the outline, I feel as if there is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, heart and mind.
Despite my teacher and others telling me that I should learn to go with the flow and not need to plan so much, I think that just does not work for me. It goes back to my post a while back about respect for different ways and needs of people. By telling me to go against my nature, I am being disrespected for how I do things. I do not go around telling people they should learn to plan more – even if I think it! 😛
So, now, even if I have to make alterations, at least I can comfortably arrive at the retreat and spend my energy getting a feel for the group again and settling into the social aspect of the retreat rather than fretting about what I need to teach. 😀 I have a sense of security in the minimal planning that I can do.
Sometimes the lesson is in embracing what is within our reach and finding peace in controlling what we can without worry about trying to control beyond our reach.
-T 😀
