Going Mental – Page 2 – Creative Meanderings

That’s A Wrap on January!

Feb 022024

It went so quickly, this past month. We were relatively busy with settling back into home life whilst also preparing for our upcoming trip to Australia and planning the rest of the year. I have a feeling 2024 is going to go fast and I’ll start sounding like a broken record about the speed of passing time.

So, to counter that, I am going to give myself a February challenge of sitting in meditation once a day. The sits have no parameters on length of time or when in the day it is done. Rather, I just want to re-train the brain to pause, not get caught up in the energetic chaos that can come from others, and to find the small things in which I can find contentment and/or gratitude. Thus, my posts in this next month will include some particular moments in which I felt present and aware of life’s blessings.

1st – catching up friends for the first time this year and since we have been back. The conversation flowed naturally and it was a nice, chilled time.

2nd (today) – after nearly two years of taking yoga classes with the same people, I finally sat with them and began to learn who they are as individuals with whom I share space with in not just yoga, but this world and community.

It is in this vein that I leave January behind and look forward to what February brings.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

How IKEA Promotes Personal Growth…

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 292024

Don’t let the cute image fool you. It was a weekend of labor and not necessarily a labor of love.

Part of our nesting activities has been planning what kind of wardrobe situation would work best for us as our current one is included in the ensuite bathroom. Since we are planning on remodeling the bathroom to a more open and spa-like relaxing space, we had to figure out alternative options for the clothes.

We considered knocking down a wall and creating a full walk-in wardrobe out of one of the bedrooms, which I am using as my office. However, that seemed a bit much given I don’t want to live nor lounge in the wardrobe. We also looked at building a walk-in version within our bedroom since we have the space, but after laying out the measurements it became clear that it would crowd the bedroom which is not what we wanted.

So, in the end, we went with a personalized IKEA project where we could design all the insides to our/my heart’s desire and make use of the wall space without sacrificing the room space.

We also agreed that we would pay someone(s) to put it all together. Instead of hiring through the IKEA service, we offered the task to a friend – paid, of course…. Now, let me say that what I am about to rant about is not 100% the fault of this person since it is indeed a complicated project that requires knowledge of the design and understanding that IKEA has this business of building things down to a science; therefore, one must know to trust the process/system. Still, the moral of this story is to not mix friendship with business of any kind – even if one thinks “It’s just IKEA.”

The pieces were delivered the week before last with the exception of some of the internal pieces. The construction started on Monday last week. I cannot upload videos for some reason here, but by Thursday midday of last week, only the outside pieces were finished (like the first image below). One or two bars were in place, but that was it. The explanation given for the lack of further progress was that not more could be done without the remaining internal pieces that we had planned to pick up on Friday. I called B.S. 😣

It surely does not take 3.5 days to put together 9 “boxes” and three bars. The doors were not on. The inserts were not in. The wardrobes were stuck into the wall for no reason as that is the last thing that should be done. The “boxes” were mostly attached to each other, but again did not yet need to be done especially since we discovered that they were pieced together incorrectly in the corner which required us to take apart all the attachments to fix it.

Over the weekend in less than eight combined hours, M and I managed to do more than what was done over three days of five hours per day and probably two hours the last day. That’s crap 😡 – sorry, but not sorry.

Again, it did help to know what everything should look like even though I also still needed to consult the IKEA design page, but ultimately I realized: 1. Just because one is paid to do a job does not mean that they care about doing a good job. 2. Hiring friends to work for you leaves room for too much leniency when it comes to professionalism. 3. There is a reason for the addage “If you want a job done right, do it yourself.” and 4. It takes a certain mindset to get over your own ego and accept that if there are extra pieces or something doesn’t fit, it isn’t because the producer messed up in their parts or instructions – it’s actually YOU.

Furthermore, I discovered that personality traits are extracted in full when it comes to these kinds of projects. Some people are impatient, throw tantrums, and yell at everything or everyone creating a heightened sense of stress. Other people remain calm, put their heads down to fix a problem if it arises and moves on to the next piece in peace. I’ll let you, reader, figure out whose personalities fit with which description here. 🤪🤪😅

So, we had a busy and bumpy weekend emotionally, but it is getting there. Ultimately, I remind myself that there is no real rush, these kinds of things are insignificant in the grand scheme of life and relationships, and there is always something to learn from experiences like this. Thus, I take it as a chance to grow within myself and adjust for the future. 😜❤️

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Remembering My Rules

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 262024

Another week almost finished and it’s had some bumps, but overall I have no reason to complain – though I do. 😬 (I know…).

First, an update on Motion from last post. I decided to give it a try for the year. There are a few kinks that I don’t love about it, but they seem to be updating the program regularly. So, I’ll keep going on it and probably send them suggestions as I get used to it. I am still running my Todoist list alongside for now as I’m not quite ready to completely transfer over. 🤪

Anywho, last night, M convinced me to sit outside under the full moon 🌕 by our outside fire pit 🔥 with a lovely glass of Cotes du Rhone 🍷 in my hand. I started out with a begrudging acquiescence to the activity. I had felt cold much of the day so being outside didn’t sound appealing. Plus, I was allowing my internal irritation with a house project to slowly bubble into a boiling flame. So, I had to take a deep breath when M compromised in helping me complete part of it and I realized it really wasn’t worth ruining an evening over. There isn’t necessarily a rush to get it done; it’s more the principle of the course of the project and external factors that are people-dependent that were the source of my angst over it.

This made me reflect.

In finding a piece of me again, I forgot that not everyone else has had self-growth spurts. Thus, my expectations and general guardedness of/with others both rose and lowered, respectively. Well, this is never a good thing in my experience. Keep expectations low and make room to be surprised. Keep guard up and have flexibility to lower it later. I know these rules of mine, but I had a lapse – as I am wont to do on occasion. This lapse created my own bumps this week. 🫤

Somehow M knows how to snap me out of these moments whether it is a conscience action or just an orchestration of Lady Universe to bring me back to reality. So, as we sat staring at the fire after he listened to my light rant, he reminded me – “Look at our lives, babe. We are very lucky.” To which I corrected because neither of us believe in “luck” when it comes to life, “We live luxuriously because we made it happen.” With a smile, we cheers-ed to that.

It was in that space of time when I shifted the wording and our clinking of glasses that I understood the creation of my own bumps this week. I expected too much. I let my guard down. I was giving over power and control of things to others when it is me/we who make things happen for us. We often lament to each other how we see or hear of other people who continue in their own ruts, blame others for their situations, or just simply shut down to any action or responsibility for their destinies. That’s just not us or me.

Now, I know a counterargument can be made that makes my statements seem pessimistic or fatalistic or some other negative connotation, but I would need a proper conversation on why one interprets them in a greyer light. In any case, I’m just acknowledging there is another side, but for me this week I am reminded of the more positive side to the “rules” I tend to live by.

So, in taking back my own power and returning to the rules of my life, I am feeling better.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

New Scheduling App

Going Mental 1 Response »

Jan 222024

It’s a pretty well-known fact about me, if you know me even a little, that I love a schedule. Routines are my safety net when the world – at least my world – feels out of control. It is a coping mechanism that I developed before I even knew of such concepts. Luckily, it is one that has rewards; thus, providing me with positive feedback to keep on doing it.

Throughout my life, when things have felt untethered, I have turned to plotting out my daily, weekly, monthly, and sometimes even yearly schedule. It gives me satisfaction. It makes me feel purposeful. It is a tangible, actionable, and visual way of giving my days meaning.

For a while, I have been using Google calendars and worked my way through various task apps finding ones that work best for me – or that I can make work for me. So, after trialling apps like Evernote (back when it was trending), or Google tasks, Trello, etc. I finally got a system that works using GCal and Todoist. Then, came Motion.

As with most things that I find these days, I saw an ad for this app/program on my social media feed. It boasts using AI to schedule in tasks and merge it with my GCal activities (events). I’m always willing to try out a new option, especially when given a free trial period. So, I’m now in the fourth day of the trial period and am feeling pretty good about it.

There is a bit of time required in figuring out the settings for the schedules and working out how to designate the tasks accordingly. However, I think that I have gotten that sorted so that now when I put in a new task it automatically gets assigned to a time on my calendar helping me to stay on task. There are a few little tweaks I might have to adjust, but today I am letting it guide me.

So far, I’ve done quite a bit of what I had scheduled/needed to do and it’s only 12:30 in the afternoon. I have another hour of time before I head off to my yoga class, but then I’ll be back with some other work to do. I’m going to try to let it do its thing for the remaining days of the trial period before I decided if I want to purchase the subscription. So, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Does anyone else get excited about these things, like I do??? 😁

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Tasks Done

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 202024

For the first time since Monday, I am sitting here with an intention to get some writing done even if it is just this post that gets finished. 💪🏽

There is something to be said for regular work hours at an office rather than at home. Not that I want to return to that way of life, but there is something to be said for the regularity of the routine and pattern which can lend itself to a feeling of getting more done. Of course, it is all relative, but my point is that there is a great deal of discipline and focus needed when being home full-time without specific deadlines or consequences to not getting things done. Plus, there’s the issue of distractions of all kind – human, four-legged – and tasks – necessary or not.

Part of the challenge was, of course, hitting market day in Lorgues and hanging out with friends during my brief visit there.

It was great to catch up with some and have a little ‘me-time’. Although I had planned to do a bit more writing, etc. the two days of 8-hr driving roundtrip sort of takes it out of me. So, it requires a bit of readjusting once I get home. However, this time, we were immediately off on other errands.

First up was to finalize our car transfer. The Mini Cooper S we had served us well for a year, but with enough visits to the mechanics and a lingering uncertainty on its durability we decided it was time to change it. Since it is primarily my car to drive, I had a few requirements. Unlike M’s wont, it did not need to be too fancy or “labeled”, but it DID need to be reliable, low mileage, etc. Basically, I preferred new without it being so.

Well, the Lady Universe gave me my requests. We got a “sporty” Audi A3 with only 200 km (124 miles) on it. It’s a 2022 model, so modern inside with all the techy features. Although it’s a diesel, I’m quite OK with that. It drives well on the windy roads, has enough get up and go on the highway and looks sleek in the garage. 😅

So, that is one less thing for us to worry about when I am on the road and when our guests are here driving it around town.

In other matters, we’ve been having meetings about updating the pool area and our bathrooms. More on those things later, but for now the planning stages are a little time-consuming. It seems the Italians love their meetings and stretching out the decision-making. I am trying to look at it as “research” for my next Umbria books; however, it can be difficult to be patient with the process.

Anyway, I am focusing this weekend on catching up with my tasks and preparing for the week ahead to focus on writing and other things. In the meantime, it’s Saturday night and time to chillax! 🎉

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Here We Go – 2024!

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 152024

Well, it is exactly halfway through the first month of the year and I feel good still about the last bit of last year along with the start of this one, so far. Unlike some years, I do not feel a sense of starting slow or that I need to rush forward. In a way, I feel for once I am perfectly placed and in the prime state of life on every aspect of my life.

Health

Usually, around this time of year, I feel far too overweight and slightly depressed about the state of my body. This year, I feel fabulously 47.5 and fairly fit. That’s not to say I don’t have some health goals this year, but it’s so nice to have a sense of starting off ahead rather than catching up.

So, in terms of physical health, I have a couple more kilos to drop for my target weight which is going to take a little bit of tweaking since we have been unsustainably been eating one meal a day around 2 or 3pm. When we are home and antisocial this is a fine way to be, but living in a Mediterranean culture means late dinners and social drinking. Therefore, finding a balance or rather counter-weight to the lateness of eating and drinking is necessary. This will probably be more of a trial and error method for a few months to see what works and what is sustainable.

Along with the eating habits, I’ll be focusing on getting in my steps, time in the gym for maintaining muscle mass – rather than bulking up -, and, of course, stretching through yoga for flexibility and movement.

Plus, I’ll be staying on top of our doctor checkups and all that good stuff. I plan to be able to say “Don’t hate at 48” with my healthy next winter bikini-bod! hahahaha

Relationships

Constantly, I am reflecting on my relationships and the nature of humans when it comes to connections. While I cherish all of my interactions with others, whether good or bad, I do not need to maintain or force the ones that are not purposeful or positively contributing to my life. Therefore, this year, I have decided to only make an effort great or small with those who fit the bill exactly.

This means that those who do not reach out to me or do not reciprocate invites, conversations, interactions will not be on my list at all to contact. Obviously, if they do make an effort I shall return the effort, but I don’t want to expend any energy considering my schedule, time, and the like. I imagine most people are already like this, but I have a tendency to expect, wait, and accommodate. No more, no sir.

A benefit of this is that I feel as if I have a lot more time and space now to organize and prioritize being with those whom I truly sense are “worth” it.

This includes time with family and dear close friends.

Work/Writing

This year, I have very big plans for my writing pursuits.

Publishing/Personal Writing

So, soon I will be working on advertising that I finished and published Volume 2: Healthcare of the Umbria On A Whim series. It is available on Amazon, but I will be upping my social media and online information with this. It is not meant to take over my life or other writing, but a slow and steady build into something sustainable and passive. Plus, I’ll begin working on Volume 3 and possibly 4 on Housing.

Also, I will finish my fiction novel this year. If all goes well, I hope to have a first draft finished by May to then have beta reads for edits/feedback, and then go on from there. I want to have a completed final submission draft by the end of November so I am ready to submit to some fellowships/grants for 2025.

Plus, in other personal writing areas, I hope to start publishing some articles about travels, writing, adoption, life or whatever in some online spaces. So, stay tuned!

Work

Work is defined as anything that makes money. So, technically, my personal published books are now considered “work” since they are making money, albeit small amounts. Still, I do actually work for other paying entities. I plan to maintain the level of work I am doing for one online company since it is easy enough and gives me enough to pad a trip here and there. The other “job” has always been organically developed, so I shall continue with that as it seems that my role might be growing and work will come in as and when.

So, basically, I plan to prioritize my days with writing first and work second. I am aiming to treat my writing as a kind of job and starting out my days on those tasks before the “paid” ones. We shall see how I get on with that.

Well, that about wraps up my 2024 goals 💪🏽. We have quite a bit of travel planned or to plan this year so it has been important to align my personal goals with a more nomadic lifestyle. I’m really looking forward to our travels! Everything feels aligned this year so far. Maybe there is something to it being the Asian calendar “Year of the Dragon 🐉”, which is my zodiac animal – though they say that Dragons should be cautious this year, so who knows?! 🤷🏽‍♀️

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Bits & Bobs

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 122024

Well, it’s already been nearly a week since returning home – how the time flies. Somehow, or not really a mystery, I seem to have caught a cold. Just when I was nearly better from catching whatever it was during holidays. So, I am hoping it doesn’t linger long but it has put a little kibosh on my exercise progress…. On the plus side, though, I have already dropped about 2 kg or almost 4.5 lbs thanks to eating less, healthier, and doing a few short gym sessions. I had planned on going to yoga this morning, but a headache and this stuffy nose put me off. Anyway, it’s all good.

In other areas, things have been good. I’ve stayed on track with my “tasks”, which have included my writing. Volume 2 of Umbria on a Whim is just about all out in the world, so that has motivated me to think about Volume 3. Yesterday, I spent about two hours looking at the first 30 pages of my fiction novel again, so that is also motivating me keep up the focus on getting that book done. Thus, the writing area is going well overall.

Everything else is still playing a bit of catch up. While the house is back together as we like it, laundry is done, and all that, we are spent the last couple of days speaking to people about painting, renovating the bathrooms, and updating the outsider areas. Most importantly, I want to clear out a space to get my office outside as well, so… more on that things develop. Lots to do and try to stay on top of.

Plus, I’m off to France for a few days on Sunday, so my next post will be from there and perhaps with a bit more thoughts as my mind can quiet a bit. 😀

Have a great weekend!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Home At Last!

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 082024

Home after about 26 hours of travel door to door. No complaints here – it was just a long day.

It’s good to be home with the animals and our things. Now, it’s all about catching up on laundry, reorganizing after having house/petsitters, and settling back into the routine.

Anyway, got some things brewing that I will attempt to organize into comprehensible words and thoughts once I have a couple more days to catch up on things.

With that – until next time!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

One more day of vacay…

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 052024

Well, it’s hard to believe it, but we are just over 24 hours away from the end of our month-long holiday away. Our reasoning for taking time away was initially to escape the winter rains and greys that we had experienced the previous couple of years in Orvieto.

Ironically, this year had a rather late summer; thus, resulting in a rather warm, sunny, and gentle winter – so far. Instead, we experienced rain and grey in London in early December, the same in Nassau (Bahamas) mid-December, a little of it in Oregon over Christmas, and a few early days in Exuma (Bahamas). However, we are now in full sun with no complaints of the previous weather as we had such a great time in all locations.

Last night at dinner, M asked me what was the best part of the holiday. To which I could not pinpoint one part since each was really lovely in itself. New Year’s Eve was a blast as I danced non-stop for about three hours enjoying the music, liquids, and ambience. Spending time with my family was amazing and the time flew by. All the rest has just been chilled and luxurious.

What I have discovered over the past month, though, is that somehow I have relaxed enough to let go of whatever energies I was holding on to that were keeping me stressed or pressured.

Things have been somewhat of a roller coaster ride since meeting M and quitting my full-time work life. Of course, they were my decisions and felt right in those moments. Still, I have felt that I should hold on to that professional person since I had spent so many years, money, and energy on building her up. While I have every confidence that if I had stayed on that path, I could have moved into important roles and done good work. However, none of it felt meaningful.

When I moved into yoga, I felt that I was going in the right direction. A bit of self-growth with the intention of helping others as well seemed like a good fit. Yet, there were frustrations in that work too, but again I believe that if I had continued I would have built a good business out of it.

Then, the years straddling both of these fields never really proved to convince me that it was where I wanted to spend all of my energy. Proof of that was my continual irritations with people, myself, and a feeling of exhaustion.

Eventually, I allowed myself to move into the world of writing. It is daunting to enter a new area at a later age when confidence in my knowledge and expertise in the field is basically non-existent. Yet, I have been writing since I was eight-years-old.

So, after spending what is now almost three years dabbling in the writing industry while also hanging on to the threads of English language teaching or yoga teaching and learning, and trying out other ventures (TUA), I have come to the decision that it is in writing I want to commit 100 percent.

The truth is that people frustrate me. With the teaching element, it is people-centered. Although I want to help them, support them, and encourage them, I also want them to learn to be self-sufficient whether in language learning or doing yoga and mindfulness/meditation. When they cannot, do not, or want not, I get frustrated and my energy gets drained for what feels like no purpose. Sure, I can be idealistic that I am planting seeds or that somehow someday fruit will come of my labors. However, it is not satisfying enough to me anymore to hang on to the hope.

With writing, I can achieve the ideal of helping, supporting, and encouraging without the negative feedback. Although I could try to delve into the writing world, I do not really need to aside from learning how to pitch for articles or the admin aspects for editors to potentially publish with a traditional publishing house. So, I’m not naive enough to think I do not need to know anything or that it will be an easier road than any other field. Yet, I feel as if it is most definitely the right path. The one that fits best. The one that satisfies who I am now and becoming. The one that suits me, our lifestyle, and my preferences.

Thanks to a month of doing very little, I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time – if ever. So, here’s to 2024 already starting off in the right direction.

Right, off to enjoy the sunshine while I can!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Happy New Year to 2024!

Going Mental 1 Response »

Jan 022024

It was a beautiful start to 2024 and we are looking forward to how the year unfolds after having a rather amazing 2023!

We’ve started our goal-writing as a couple and are working on our individual ones, though I had already started mine back in September, but as with all things they change. So, I’m narrowing down a bit more on some things and letting others go.

Since we are still on vacation in the Bahamas – Exuma -, I’ll save a full post on our goals/plans until we are back.

In the meantime, I wish all you readers of this crazy blog of mine a most wonderful 2024 that is filled with health, wealth, fun, sun, and most of all – love. ❤️

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Older Entries Newer Entries

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)